women

Interview with Working Mother Amy M. Bennett

Here at Tomato Pie, we’re celebrating the release of my biblical historical fiction ebook “Working Mother.” Today is the Feast of St. Francis de Sales, patron saint of writers.  What better day to interview one of my favorite authors?  Let’s meet Amy M. Bennett!

What’s your name?Displaying IMG_6290.jpg

Amy M. Bennett (born Amy Marie Romero, in El Paso, TX, ca. 1967)

Tell us a little bit about your family. 

I come from a family that had a SAHM… my mother never worked and was always there for me and my sister. I wanted the same when I married and had a family, but even though we only had my son, I had to work from the time he was three years old.

 

Imagine you’re at a dinner party.  Someone asks the question, “So, what do you do?”  What’s your answer?

What DON’T I do??? I work full time as a cake decorator at Walmart (16 years slinging frosting!) and also part time at a winery. And I write, which is the job I’m most passionate about. But my real life’s work is my family—my husband, Paul, and son, Paul Michael, are my top priority and taking care of them and my home always comes first.

 

How do you think God uses your job to help shape you into all He made you to be? 

I think He uses it in ways that are kind of hard to see. I get asked all the time, “Where do you find the time to do everything you do?” The answer is, I MAKE the time to do what I want to do. We all have things we HAVE to do… time can be wasted or saved. It all depends on your priorities. I know a lot of people who are less busy than I am, but are always frustrated and grouchy because they never have time to do what they want to do. However, they never seem to miss an episode of the latest reality show! I think God makes sure I have to stay busy, especially now that my son is grown up, so I don’t lose my focus!

What benefits (besides the economical) have you seen to your family that are a direct result of your work away from home? 

My son learned a lot of self-reliance, once he was old enough to stay home alone without supervision. When he was a teen and mom had to  be to work at 2 a.m. and Dad left for work at 6 a.m., he learned to get himself dressed and fed (he taught himself to cook!) and take care of the pets and other chores without supervision. And now that I’m a published author, it’s easy to see that I need that time out of the house to feed my creativity. And there’s a real spirit of teamwork in the family; we all work, we all pool our resources, we all take care of home and each other. There’s no “That’s my job” or “That’s your job”–I think it’s brought us closer together.

 

How do you balance any guilty feelings you might have in the tension between your workplace and your homespace? 

I made it a rule early on: home stays home, work stays at work. And Sundays are for God and family. If we HAVE to work on an occasional Sunday, we make it a rare occurrence and make sure that Mass is always a priority. I also have had to learn to be more forgiving of myself. So I had to dress out of the dryer this morning—at least the clothes are clean! It’s OKAY to call the spouse and say, “You know what, work’s been crazy today, let’s grab a pizza on the way home or stop at that little diner up the road and let someone else cook and clean tonight!” And maybe the hardest part was speaking up at work and saying, “No, I can’t stay late today; no, I can’t cover another Sunday shift.” My generation was trained to be responsible and put work first, even if it meant sacrificing family time and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. I had to realize that the company wasn’t going to close its doors if I left on time each day or if everything didn’t get done or (gasp!) if I called in sick or went on vacation once in a while!

What is one thing that you would ask the people in your life to do to support you more? 

Realize that I’m not you. I’m sure you have a million different ways of doing things that you believe are WAY better than the way I’m doing them, but understand that not everyone does things your way and there is no one right way to do anything. I’ve always said if you ask ten people to do the dishes, they’ll have ten different ways to do them… but in the end, the dishes are clean. That’s the point, right?

 

It sure is!  Thank you, Amy!  

Are you a working mother?  So was (and is) the Blessed Mother!  If you enjoyed this interview and would like to celebrate working motherhood some more, please consider getting a copy of my $.99 historical fiction ebook, “Working Mother.”  

Interview with Working Mother Lisa Delay

Here at Tomato Pie, we’re celebrating the release of my biblical historical fiction ebook “Working Mother.” Today is the Feast of the Epiphany, when we celebrate all the different directions from which Christians approach Jesus and gather together in His name.  What better day to interview one of my favorite Christian speakers and working mothers, Lisa DeLay?

What’s your name?LisaHeadShotSquarebW-300x300

Lisa DeLay

Tell us a little bit about your family. 

The DeLays (of Cressona) are typically an odd but tight bunch. Our family is marked by creative pursuits, family suppers together each night, the priority of a Christian walk of faith, mini vacations, cycling on rails-to-trails, a bit of sibling bickering, a love of quirky movies, and cleaning up after our dog, Luna.

 

Imagine you’re at a dinner party.  Someone asks the question, “So, what do you do?”  What’s your answer?

First, I might quip, “The best I can.” This is likely to followed by an awkward silence and the suspicion that I’m a hapless jerk. From there, I may proceed with a list (graphic designer, writer, artist, digital marketer, manager at a vineyard, volunteer at a federal prison, plus I’m a wife and mom to a special needs child and a gifted child) that either bores the listener or causes them to assume that I over-schedule my life–which is actually inaccurate…but whatever. Incidentally, I was asked this question at my son’s school one time. I was exhausted from my day, so I replied, “Oh, not much”–to which the man said (instructively) to his son, “Mrs DeLay is a ‘housewife’, Michael. That means she takes care of her home and that’s okay, too.” I didn’t bother trying to clear that up.

[Erin here.   Besides being a, and note the that’s-okay-too-quotation-marks, “housewife,” Lisa has authored and co-authored several books, including my favorite, Dog in the Gap, which I highly recommend.]  

 

How do you think God uses your job to help shape you into all He made you to be? 

Whatever it is that I’m working on I think that God gives me chances to share the gifts me gave me with others. In doing that I am found and I sense that I belong to a plan and a hope bigger than myself. Ideally, the struggles, whether at home or at work, can create Christ-likeness if I bear in mind a bigger picture.

 

What benefits (besides the economical) have you seen to your family that are a direct result of your work away from home? 

My children have to develop greater maturity, take on more responsibly, and contribute in useful ways to the family in meaningful ways–from doing chores and caring for the dog, to behaving themselves or getting snacks on their own when I’m not home from work yet. My husband shares in more household tasks too. If it weren’t by necessity, this may not happen as much. 

 

How do you balance any guilty feelings you might have in the tension between your workplace and your homespace? 

If those feelings ever arise I remind myself that I spent 7 years away from work outside the home to stay with them full-time and they are at an age to be challenged by the kind of independence my part-time work outside the home offers them.

What is one thing that you would ask the people in your life to do to support you more? 

My friends and my spouse do a lot to support me (practically and emotionally).  To my children I’d say, “Ditch the complaining…you have it pretty darn good.”

 

Thank you, Lisa!  

Are you a working mother?  So was (and is) the Blessed Mother!  If you enjoyed this interview and would like to celebrate working motherhood some more, please consider getting a copy of my $.99 historical fiction ebook, “Working Mother.”  

Interview with Working Mother Sarah Reinhard

It’s the feast of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, one of my favorite working mother saints.  Join me in celebrating working mother Sarah Reinhard as we also celebrate the release of my biblical historical fiction ebook “Working Mother.”

SarahRpicWorkingMother

What’s your name?

 Sarah Reinhard

Tell us a little bit about your family. 

4 kids, ages 9-almost-10, 7, 4, and in utero (due in March)

Imagine you’re at a dinner party.  Someone asks the question, “So, what do you do?”  What’s your answer?

A little bit of all kinds of things (grin), including laundry, juggling, entertainment, writing, chauffeuring, personal shopping, anger management and conflict resolution, and much more.  Actually, I usually just tell people I’m a writer. It takes less effort than explaining I work from home and somehow manage more than anyone else thinks I should be able to.

(Erin here.   Sarah blogs for herself, for the National Catholic Register, is an editorial consultant at CatholicMom.com, and has a bunch of books on Amazon, and that’s just for starters).  

How do you think God uses your job to help shape you into all He made you to be? 

Well, it keeps me off the streets… It keeps me organized and focused on my priorities. I am constantly assessing why I work and whether I’m in line with God’s will. God and I have an ongoing conversation in which I say “How in the (colorful word omitted) am I supposed to DO ALL OF THIS?” and he answers with some miraculous person showing up to help or some circumstance falling into place or some clear realization on my part that it’s time to say No.  My job pays the bills, yes. But it also gives me a focus that I think I would lack otherwise. It’s how God wired me. (And I realize there’s room for a conversation here about how my kids and my husband should be my focus, and I don’t mean to ever imply that, at any moment, they ever aren’t. Because they are. At every instant.)

What benefits (besides the economical) have you seen to your family that are a direct result of your work away from home? 

I actually work from home, so I get the best and worst of both sides of this. I get to look at the unfolded laundry all day and feel guilty about whether I’m ignoring a kid while I try to meet a deadline. But I’m also here when someone’s sick, and I work with incredible people who understand that I’m a wife and mom FIRST.  I have flexibility, but I also have a never-ending to-do list. Literally. There is ALWAYS something that needs done, whether it’s dishes or laundry, a writing project or client project, homework help or sports carpooling.  My kids see, very clearly, that family comes first. Family is part and parcel of all of it: the housework, the outside work, the fun we have.

 

How do you balance any guilty feelings you might have in the tension between your workplace and your homespace? 

Confession and constant conversation with God. I’m always assessing whether why I’m working outside my home achieves God’s will, which requires always asking him for guidance. I also keep myself in check by listening to what those closest to me are saying — God so often speaks in the voices of my husband and my closest family and friends. 

What is one thing that you would ask the people in your life to do to support you more? 

Coffee and chocolate, people, coffee and chocolate. 🙂

Thank you, Sarah!  

Are you a working mother?  So was (and is) the Blessed Mother!  If you enjoyed this interview and would like to celebrate working motherhood some more, please consider getting a copy of my $.99 historical fiction ebook, “Working Mother.”