trauma

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 2Jul2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Are the waves in your life hitting you incessantly? Maybe it’s time to find your rut-busting Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Art heals. Shelter’s healing arts program supports survivors of domestic abuse.
  2. Childhood trauma survivors often live with a belief that they are irrelevant. “Relevant is not the same as current” is over at Catholic Mom.
  3. What is enmeshment, and do you experience it?
  4. Filling the void of a narcissistic parent
  5. Terry Crews talks about what happened when he got physical revenge on his abusive father.
  6. Real-time communication with real live humans is key to making sure our relationship with God does not suffer the vacuum of isolation. Colleen Mallette at Catholic Mom has Don’t Keep Your Doubts to Yourself.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom on THIS WEDNESDAY, July 7.

This week’s media continues my celebration of my family’s annual Lord of the Rings marathon. The guys at Cinema Therapy talk about isolation vs. hope in Theoden King’s arc through The Two Towers.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 25Jun2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Need to bloom where you’re planted? Maybe it’s time to find your rut-busting Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. I had a chance to talk with Tracy with the OSV Webcast Author Series on Thursday, June 24. You can access that video here.
  2. Trauma is, by definition, suffering. Joe Heschmeyer is at OSV News with “Why should we rejoice in suffering?
  3. Do you know what love bombing is? Have you been love bombed? Signs you’re entangled with a narcissist.
  4. Life, especially early life, spent with narcissism can create a situation in us called “learned helplessness.” Good news: it’s not a life sentence.
  5. Carmen Lappe is at Catholic Mom with The Broken Plant Stand: A Reflection on Motherhood and Mental Health.
  6. Ginny Kochis also at Catholic Mom reminds us that Love Is Kind and Patient With You.
  7. Ending with the official announcement that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom for July 7.

This week’s media is another from Cinema Therapy. Every summer, once ALL our kids are done school, we do a Lord of the Rings movie marathon. Inspired by that tradition, here’s Radical Acceptance & Dealing With Hardship in The Fellowship of the Ring.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 18Jun2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Feeling a little bit Ferris Wheel? May I suggest you find your rut-busting Beatitude? Image: Unsplash
  1. Father’s Day is this weekend. What a Father We Have in Saint Joseph!
  2. On that note, if you’re feeling tender and alone around Father’s Day, let’s be alone together. Join me tomorrow, Saturday, June 19 at 3pm Eastern US Time for a Google Meet: Dad’s Day Dessert Party. All emotions welcome. Email me for the join link.
  3. Trauma got you feeling like you have ADD? ADD got you feeling traumatized? Your feelings are–surprise!–valid, and science says so.
  4. I’m aware of the irony of someone giving you seven links to visit regarding trauma and toxic relationships, but here are 10 Signs of Toxic Self-awareness & How to Escape This Rabbit Hole.
  5. It’s a Lenten article, but as Catholics, we know how to find the Lent in Ordinary Time–or we know sometimes that Lent finds us no matter the liturgical season: Conversion Begins With Healing.
  6. Deanna Bartalini is at Catholic Mom with a great reminder: Our Children Are Not Our Own.
  7. Ending with the official announcement that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom for July 7.

For this week’s media, I invite you to listen to my discussion with Kim Cameron-Smith on the Gentle Catholic Parenting podcast.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 11Jun2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Happy Feast of the Sacred Heart. Image: Unsplash
  1. Control can be a huge problem for trauma survivors. Caitlan Rangel at Catholic Mom reminds us Surrender Starts With Listening.
  2. Gotta love stories where people help others break free from abuse. Read here about one teen’s effort to help survivors escape domestic violence.
  3. Christina Mayeux talks about all the ways we can go to Joseph, model for husbands and families.
  4. Soooo much gaslighting happens in dysfunctional families. OSV Newsweekly has “What is truth?” A Lesson on Integrity for Children and Families.
  5. Struggle with anger? You are very much not alone. Read Jen Schuermann talk about The Night That God Took My Anger.
  6. Have you taken the quiz yet? Find your rut-busting Beatitude and get your free custom-chosen chapter of the book handily mentioned in the item below…
  7. Ending with a cheerful reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for preorder.

I also had the opportunity to do a Facebook Live with Catholic Mom about St. Joseph: Father to the Father-wounded. Watch at this link if the embed doesn’t show up below lol

https://fb.watch/625EsEzk9N/

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 4Jun2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Walking through this together. Image via via Unsplash.
  1. Chantal Howard has an AMAZING piece at Catholic Mom about how childhood trauma can so powerfully affect the afflicted’s ability to hear God’s voice that lives can be lost to suicide. Read her family’s powerful, painful, and yet hopeful and healing encounter with this tragedy at Suicide, Grief, and the Sonrise.
  2. More from Charlene Bader at Catholic Mom: Sorrow, Prophecy, & the Desire to Be Affirmed
  3. Verily has a piece on the tie between trauma and porn addiction.
  4. Did I already share this one? I may have, so forgive me for the re-share, and forgive me for not having Disney+ yet and thus not having seen WandaVision yet: Wanda Maximoff, Trauma, and the Power of Dissociation.
  5. If you’re looking for some validation, here ya go: Damage gone by emotionally immature parents can have a long term impact on children.
  6. Have you taken the quiz yet? Find your rut-busting Beatitude and get your free custom-chosen chapter of the book handily mentioned in the item below…
  7. Ending with a cheerful reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for preorder.

Let’s sign off with Father Mike Schmitz on Setting Boundaries for Yourself and Others.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

Open Book: Book Recs for June 2021

Carolyn Astfalk has a first Wednesday of the month book review linkup, shared also at Catholic Mom!

open-book-logo2018

 

Yes, it seems redundant to say that I’ve had a rough year, since, really, who hasn’t? But I’m going to come out here with a chunk of self-compassion over how little reading, especially fiction reading, I’ve done over the past two years. Carolyn and I, and a whole bunch of fiction writers I know through the Catholic Writers Guild, have often bemoaned the greater cultural problem as follows:

Why do people read so much more non-fiction than fiction? 

I never understood it. Non-fiction was so dry, so unimaginative, and held none of the escape that Tolkien holds not as sickness but as duty. Why would people read non-fiction, even exclusively? Especially exclusively? 

And then I found myself working more psychological trauma than I’d ever imagined would be mine to work. 

What that trauma is/was is or perhaps may be for another time (more work to do on that before I can really synthesize it into something worth sharing with others). What I did learn, sort of, that I feel like I can share here is not so much of something I learned as something I’m wondering:

Our culture is so traumatizing in its dismissal of the beloved imperfection of the human person that we don’t see ourselves as soldiers under duty to King and country to escape but rather as rats in a maze that we must solve or else starve for lack of cheese. 

It’s just a thought I’m still working with, but it certainly rings true as I look over my reading list from the past two years or so and see its utter dearth of fiction. Well, maybe not utter. Anyway, I feel like I’m starting to come out of the maze just a wee ratty bit and am eyeing all the unread fiction that has accumulated over the past 24 months. I’m hoping to share more in Open Book in the coming months. Here’s hoping. 

Meanwhile, here’s what I have been reading:

Simple Mercies

Simple Mercies: How the Works of Mercy Bring Peace and Fulfilment by Lara Patangan.

What a remarkable journey through the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy we have in Simple Mercies. In a world where we feel constant pressure to do more and be more, Lara Patangan offers readers an opportunity to let the to-do list carve instead a space in the heart, where we can encounter the all-forgiving love of Christ in the everyday. The author spent a year celebrating the works of mercy and shares the fruits of her contemplation in this engaging work that one moment will have you laughing and the next will touch your heart with empathy for those we serve—and, just as importantly, for the person you see in the mirror. If you’re looking for a brief but uplifting read that will help you reframe your daily drudgery and find opportunities for greater spiritual joy, Simple Mercies would be a great fit. 5/5

I am grateful to have received an advance copy of Simple Mercies from the publisher.

 

Tale of Two Cities

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. This may be the only fiction I finished reading over the past year. I’d never read it before, and as I was preparing for my January surgery that little did I know was to become a January and a March surgery, I wanted something I wouldn’t have to think hard about how I was going to leave it a review, whose feelings I would hurt if I never got to that review (thoughts that go through an overfunctioning author’s mind when picking up her friends’ books), and so on. We had this in an anthology in the house, so I picked it up.

Oh, Sydney Carton. This was another experience like my first time reading Jane Eyre: I hadn’t read much about what I was about to read, so the big twist really got me and got me good, like took my breath away got me good. 5/5 A1PlaceHolder

Positive Intelligence

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours by Shirzad Chamine.

Wow. WOW! This (non-fiction) book has changed my life by helping me to change my mind. In PI, Chamine synthesizes neuroscience, trauma recovery, emotional intelligence studies, and so much more, offering the reader tools to help us identify and derail our self-sabotaging patterns so that we can live more creative, joyful lives. Chamine tells his own story of how he thought his harsh inner critic was helping him succeed when all it was doing was ruining his relationships and his professional life. He then goes on to offer a model of looking at our thought patterns, identifying our typical “Saboteurs” (control, distraction, hypervigilance, etc.), disabling said Saboteurs, and then strengthening our mind to listen to our wiser self (which he calls our “Sage”). Full of practical tools you don’t need a ton of money or a ton of time (or a long-term therapist) to use, PI has been one of the most positive books I’ve read and has helped me make the most positive changes in my interior life as well as my relationships. 6/5 (seriously) A1PlaceHolder

Name of the Rose

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Ecco. I haven’t finished it yet, but imagine Brother Sherlock Aquinas has come to a medieval monastery with the job of discovering why one of the brothers was discovered dead at the bottom of a ravine. I’m afraid it’s smarter than I am right now (I blame trauma brain), but I do find myself interested in reading more.  (TBD/5)

A1PlaceHolderWhat are you reading?  Don’t forget to link up YOUR #OpenBook reviews over at Carolyn’s!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 28May2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend, US friends. Image via Unsplash.
  1. More from Charlene Bader in her series of the Seven Sorrows: Sorrow, Escape, and the Desire to Be Safe.
  2. Blessed Is She has piece from back in April (I know, I’m behind) on Finding and Fighting For Freedom From Addiction.
  3. Just because trauma and addiction feed each other, here’s another addiction-related bit: Nonprofit Uses Fitness to Help in Addiction Recovery.
  4. Divorce is considered an Adverse Childhood Experience. Are you familiar with ministry for adult children of divorce? Read here about Life-giving Wounds.
  5. I’m hopeful for the cultural shift that is putting resources into answering called-for emergencies with mental health help rather than police action.
  6. Have you taken the quiz yet? Find your rut-busting Beatitude and get your free custom-chosen chapter of the book handily mentioned in the item below…
  7. Ending with a cheerful reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for preorder.

Finally, ending with an audio file this week: Dr. Greg Bottaro of the Catholic Psych Institute has a great new podcast called Being Human. Here’s an episode I found very helpful: A Look at Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 21May2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Happy Pentecost Weekend Image via Unsplash.
  1. The ultimate trauma is loss of our earthly lives. All the things we do to avoid the fear of this inevitability, however, often lead us down paths to living deaths. Rebecca Martin is at Catholic Mom with fiction to help us: Reading Memento Mori.
  2. Another great installment in Charlene Bader’s series on Mary’s Seven Sorrows: Sorrow, Suffering, and the Desire to be Touched. She includes an acknowledgement towards those of us who have been more harmed than helped by touch in this life.
  3. A lot of trauma survivors use busyness as a maladaptive coping mechanism (this is me, raising my hand). Ginny Kochis gives us a great post in “You Aren’t Lazy: There’s No Shame is Rest.”
  4. “Blessed are the meek” means that God has blessings in store for those who know when to say no. Meg Hunter-Kilmer is at Alateia with Saints Who Had to Set Boundaries.
  5. Margaret Rose Realy has a poignant and brutally honest piece at Catholic Mom: Hoping to Attach to Our Mother of Hope.
  6. Have you taken the quiz yet? Find your rut-busting Beatitude and get your free custom-chosen chapter of the book handily mentioned in the item below…
  7. Ending with a cheerful reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for preorder.

It doesn’t want to embed here, but for this week’s audiovisual, I’m delighted to share with you my Facebook Live over at Catholic Mom, where I talked about Mary, Mother to the Mother-wounded.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 14May2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Image via Unsplash.
  1. Catholic Mom’s Colleen Millette reminds us to say “You Got This!” But not to whom you’d expect…
  2. Inclusion does not equal endorsement, since I haven’t read this, but the title is certainly intriguing: How to Turn Your Child Into a Doormat.
  3. Is it saintly to be a doormat? Ask these saints who had to set boundaries.
  4. Well, I certainly have been feeling this one since being diagnosed with osteoarthritis for the first time at age 15 when I was a size 9: Adversity in childhood may lead to early aging in women.
  5. Reaching into my backlog of bookmarks to the first article I saw on a new trend at the crossroads of public health and public safety: Denver sent mental health help, not police, to hundreds of calls.
  6. Have you taken the quiz yet? Find your rut-busting Beatitude and get your free custom-chosen chapter of the book handily mentioned in the item below…
  7. Ending with a cheerful reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for preorder.

Let’s share more Cinema Therapy this week. Language warning: Extreme isolation in THE MARTIAN.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 7May2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Image via Unsplash.
  1. The low-hanging fruit for a post that goes live the Friday before Mother’s Day in the US: Mother’s Day is Hard When Your Mom Is Toxic.
  2. On that note, how do you bring joy in a world where your dreams don’t come true? Maria Gallagher at Catholic Mom shares
  3. Criminal justice needs a better understanding of childhood trauma, in case it wasn’t obvious.
  4. Cassie Evert at Catholic Mom is talking about how we can instill hope in our children.
  5. Dr Han Ren on TikTok has a great, brief description of the difference between feeling shame and being shamed.
  6. De Yarrison at Catholic Mom explains how delving into God’s truth can help us heal our unhealthy habits of mind in The Bold Choice to Believe.
  7. Ending with a cheerful reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for preorder.

And I know it’s not Christmas, nor is it Father’s Day, but let’s just take a moment with Cinema Therapy to celebrate the right way to support the mom in your life.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!