hope

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 23Oct2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

The monarchs are flying over our neighborhood these days. Image via Unsplash.
  1. Laura Patangan over at Catholic Mom writes about hurts, seen and unseen, in “Tree Trauma and Forward Thinking.”
  2. Chantal Howard, also over at Catholic Mom, writes about how little we parents actually do control in her piece “Let the Weeds and the Wheat Grow Together.”
  3. Increasing sleep leads to better PTSD outcomes. It’s worth noting.
  4. I wrote a memoir about abuse. That doesn’t mean you’re entitled to every detail.” As an abuse survivor with a book on the way, this article gave me lots of food for thought. As a reader, you may gain some food for thought as well.
  5. Why unloved daughters normalize and rationalize abuse.”
  6. Changing up the schedule a bit, since it looks like gospel journal page subscribers take a week or so to get to their emails, So, next Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors goes out before midnight. If you missed it, please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202.
  7. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.

Meanwhile, here’s a printable! Sort of. Not mine. If you can credit the original source, please comment with it below.

Do you have anything to add to this list? I’d add “Maintenance of relationship between parent-child.”

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 16Oct2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Happy Feast of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, Apostle of the Sacred Heart. Image via Unsplash.
  1. Forbes Magazine has an article on how adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) impact adult health, especially in terms of inflammatory disease: 5 Ways Trauma and Poverty Affect Childhood Development.
  2. New here and interested in an ultra-quick primer on trauma & PTSD? Here’s Fight, flight or freeze.
  3. Can anyone relate to this one? Dealing with toxic family relationships can be a lifelong challenge.
  4. Speaking of dealing, here are 25 Amazing COPING SKILLS Everybody Needs.
  5. If you’re wondering how journaling can help you… watch this! I love one of the comments on this video: “I definitely think everyone should keep a journal, especially men since we are emotionally told to not express our feelings. It has helped me a lot every time i write it feels like i close an app or close all the extra tabs in my mind.” Close those tabs, my friends! Close ’em!
  6. Looking for some help getting started with journaling? Well, I am here to help, my sibling. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors goes out before midnight. If you missed it, please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202.
  7. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.

Last week I threw some soothing worship piano via Dappy T Keys Worship your way. Wasn’t that lovely and peaceful? This week you get my workout playlist du jour. Word of caution: I haven’t watched most of these videos, because I just listen to the music while I’m pumping very small amounts of iron.

Anybody else have some non sequiturs in your listening repertoire?

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 9Oct2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum, better late than never.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Moody Image via Unsplash.
  1. Catholics for Family Peace is having a webinar for Promoting Peaceful Relationships at Home next week. It’s free–my favorite price!
  2. Catholic Mom repackaged one of my old articles for their My Rosary Story series for October, the month of the Rosary. See it here: Rocky Roots
  3. Catholic in Recovery has another in their series on Attachment, Addiction, and Psychology. Check it out.
  4. Did I already share the Restore the Glory podcast here? Probably, but I need to come up with 7 takes, so, here ya go.
  5. Embracing and Detaching from Suffering as the Loved One of an Addict is a good message for anyone affected by another’s addiction (also over at CIR).
  6. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors goes out before midnight. If you missed it, please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202.
  7. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.

Made it to 7! Phew, that was like pulling teeth! What are you up to these days? Not pulling teeth, I assume… Hey, if you need some soothing worship piano music playing in the background while you journal, I’m really enjoying Dappy T Keys Worship. Now, you can, too.

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 2Oct2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum, better late than never.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Image via Unsplash. Happy Feast of the Guardian Angels.
  1. In “Reaching Out for Help,” Courtney Vallejo asks, “Why do we wait until we are desperate to ask for help?” [Short answer from me: it’s a trauma response rooted in survival-perfectionism, but go read her post anyway.]
  2. Trauma survivors have a lot to grieve. I found “To Mourn Neither Maniacally Nor Hopelessly but in Christ” by Adam A. J. Deville a nice reminder on the importance of ritual in grief-sharing.
  3. I get a lot of good stuff from The Undone Mama. You might, too.
  4. I know I share Dr. Ramani stuff on here a lot. I love her energy. I also love the lower-key, gentle-parent style of Les Carter. Here’s one of my favorites from him: The “I Release You” Response to a Narcissist.
  5. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors goes out before midnight. If you missed it, please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202.
  6. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.
  7. Finally, Boundaries Cuteness for ya from Introvert Doodles:

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

What are your struggles with setting and keeping good boundaries?

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 25Sep2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum, better late than never.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Image via Unsplash
  1. Virtual Catholic Healing Conference is this weekend! Maybe I’ll “see” you there? I don’t know. I have no idea how this works…
  2. Give voice to the pain: New Catholic ministry seeks to help adult children of divorce” shares the ministry of Life Giving Wounds. Divorce causes its own trauma.
  3. Living With Clinical Anxiety by Ginny Kochis over at Catholic Mom offers a fresh look at that Padre Pio quote, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”
  4. Dr. Ramani has another good one, this one about the dangers of toxic positivity.
  5. Need some more validation from Dr. Ramani? Here you go: How to Think About a Narcissistic Parent.
  6. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors just went out. If you missed it, please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202.
  7. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 18-19Sep2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum, better late than never.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Saying goodbye to the summer flowers, via Unsplash
  1. Jennifer Fitz has a piece on “Parish Mental Health Support 101” over at the register. As usual with her writing, Fitz breaks a large beast down into perfectly attainable chunks.
  2. Dr. Bob Schuts and Jake Khym, a pair of well-spoken Catholic mental health professionals, have a new-ish podcast, Restore the Glory. I’m loving their take on the interface between Theology of the Body and trauma healing. You might, too.
  3. How do you respond to anxiety: overfunctioning or underfunctioning? I’m the former, but I’m working on it.
  4. Working the steps during a pandemic can be tough. This article has some basic tips, if you need them.
  5. Quarter Joe of Catholic in Recovery had an article post back in June about the dangers of self-isolation, especially in reference to family trauma: It Is Not Good for the Man to Be Alone
  6. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors just went out. If you missed it, please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202.
  7. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 11Sep2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Another sunflower image via Unsplash
  1. While I’m a huge fan of doing the hard things of self-care, it’s also no substitute for actual mental health work, whether that’s the right therapist, the right book, the right support group, the right medication, the right diagnosis. Making your bed won’t get you un-depressed. It Tommy Tighe, LMFT, of Saint Dymphna’s Playbook agrees.
  2. The Face of Mercy is on a mission to support the Church’s efforts to promote mental health. They have some fantastic prayers for when you need them.
  3. Forgive me if I’ve already shared this one, but Fr. Mike Schmitz’s video on “Is Curiosity a Vice?” was one of the most helpful things I’ve watched. Like, ever. The worst abuse I experienced as a child did not make sense. I could understand rage. I could understand impatience. I couldn’t understand just doing something to an innocent child just because you have the power to do so. Now I can. It was curiosity. In other words, Spoilers: Curiosity is a vice. Good news, there is a virtue to counter it, and it’s way more satisfying that curiosity ever will be. Watch Fr. Mike to find out.
  4. We childhood trauma survivors will eventually experience the deaths of those who abused us. Hearing those people presumptuously canonized by the well-meaning can be a retraumatization. Here’s Msgr. Pope over at OSV Newsweekly talking indirectly about the problems that causes. Msgr. Pope writes more from a theological standpoint, but theological truth always validates mental health truth. I’d love to hear if you see a connection between the two as well.
  5. Jim Wahlberg’s new book, The Big Hustle, portrays his journey from angry, addicted street kid to sober Catholic. I haven’t read it yet, but it looks worthwhile, especially since he has lived much of the same experience all childhood trauma survivors have who then go on to find solace and purpose in the Catholic faith.
  6. And here’s an article about Jim’s life with family trauma, an addicted parent, his own addiction, prison, and then transformation. There’s always hope.
  7. One last thing on Jim’s work. I haven’t seen it yet, but we’re going to watch it tonight: What About the Kids is a short film that tells the story of an eight year-old girl whose parents are addicted to opiates.

This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors will come out in a few hours, so please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.

Finally, a bit of shameless self-promo: If you like historical click bait and getting caught in the rain, go ahead and check out my article on Mental Floss, “The 1851 Christiana Resistance: The Forgotten First Shots of the Civil War.” And here’s the placard I pass on the way to the Amish farm where we buy our peaches every summer.

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 28Aug2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Image via Unsplash
  1. I love when I get to hear a friend on a podcast! Melanie Owens of Joyful Ever After was just on Lindy Wynne’s podcast Mamas In Spirit, talking about how her wounds as a child of an alcoholic shaped, challenged, and then grew her understanding of faithful Catholic marriage & motherhood. It’s beautiful. Go listen.
  2. Fr. Mike Schmitz has a great one making the rounds: “If You’re Not Feeling Loved.” I love the message about Leah in there.
  3. Okay, so I share this one with a twinge of pain for what isn’t, but sometime’s it’s nice to read an article about people who came from families who lived resilience with each other rather than demanding it of their children but not themselves. All that was to share “Lessons From Children and Grandparents” by Gretchen Crowe over at OSV.
  4. As someone recovering from both trauma and compulsive overeating, this article is fascinating: “Adolescents with ‘elevated’ hunger hormone are more likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder.” Especially interesting is the hormone studied tends to be considered hunger-related, but this study indicates that the body considers hunger a type of distress. The implications for that in the treatment of food addiction are astounding.
  5. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors will come out in a few hours, so please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202.
  6. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.
  7. And whenever I’m having a hard time getting to #7, why don’t I just go to Dr. Ramani for backup? Dr. Ramani on the Emotion of Healing Adult Survivors of child abuse. There’s something just so healing about seeing someone justifiably angry at the things that have been done to us. “My goal is to uninterrupt those stories for them… We’ve just given them a dragon to slay.”

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 21Aug2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Image via Unsplash
  1. Why I Distrust Parents of Estranged Children is a great look into the unlikelihood that a child goes no contact with his/her parents “for no reason.”
  2. Codependents and addicts alike, this one is for you! The Ask Christopher West podcast is a weekly take on listener questions answered by Theology of the Body couple Wendy & Christopher West. On their latest episode, Freedom from the Law, Q2 tackles the definition of godly selflessness (hint, codependents: it’s not doing everything for everyone and never needing anything), and Q3 tackles how living in Christ makes us free from the law (hint, addicts: this is a TOB take on what recovery actually is).
  3. Project Create Offers Art Therapy to help DC kids survive and thrive through adverse childhood experiences.
  4. On that same note (ha!), Music Beyond Measure provides trauma survivors the opportunity to “Sing Your Story.” Survivors are paired with volunteer musicians to write and perform a piece processing their survival experience. I’m not crying. You’re crying.
  5. Not sure how useful this might be to you, but Reddit Helping Survivors Process Abuse is a story about how survivors find & support each other on the internet. If you’re looking for your support system, maybe Reddit would be a good fit to get started?
  6. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors will come out in a few hours, so please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.
  7. Last, any chance we can talk about this one:Ask Scary Mommy: I Don’t Speak to My Narcissist Mom — What Do I Tell My Kids?” I had to face this problem myself, and my solution was similar to Scary Mommy’s solution… but as Catholics, can we talk about how maybe “going no contact” doesn’t have to equate “the narcissist will never change”? Just because I don’t want to give a person another opportunity to sin against me doesn’t mean I think that person can’t repent. I’m just confident that God doesn’t need me to be around to save that person’s soul.

Anyway, I would love to talk about the very strong conflict between “they’ll never change, and that’s why no contact is required” and the Christian believe that all souls can be saved, even the seeming worst. Somebody? Am I the only both/and out there on this?

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 14Aug2020

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Image via Unsplash
  1. The Cycle of Abuse: Don’t Get Caught Up In The Honeymoon Phase by Rose Saad is the first post on the subject of the trauma bonding cycle that includes scripture quotes to support leaving an abusive environment. Thank you, Rose!
  2. Healing My Trauma episode on…
  3. … the Mamas In Spirit podcast: host Lindy Wynne talks with guest Kelly Behrens about how the long-term effects of childhood trauma can be released and redeemed through telling our stories in supportive community.
  4. Catholics for Family Peace is a resource for identifying and responding to evidence of domestic violence in your Catholic parish.
  5. Thank you, Rose Folsom -Virtue Connection, for getting in touch with me about Catholics for Family Peace.
  6. Maintaining Recovery Even When You Don’t Feel Like You Need To Anymore” by Jonathan over at Catholic in Recovery speaks to all those ways, after a success or two, we convince ourselves we don’t need help anymore and can just rely on ourselves. I’m not even all that far along in my recovery, and I still slip into this kind of thinking!
  7. This Sunday’s gospel journaling page for trauma survivors will come out in a few hours, so please sign up here to get yours free through the end of November, 20202. I also invite you to join in some discussion over on my Broken Grown-up Nation Facebook page.

I kinda want to ask about tenderness here. I have to admit, that’s a word that makes me recoil, though I can’t quite put my finger on why. Is it because I’ve more often used the adjective “tender” to describe steak? Is it because I’ve experienced — and offered others — so little of it thus far in life? Anybody reading have some light to shed on the concept of “tenderness”?

Also, let me know how I may pray for you? Meanwhile, make sure you give Kelly & the SQT crew a look see.