freelance

Interview with Working Mother Ashley Anderson

Here at Tomato Pie, we’re celebrating the release of my biblical historical fiction ebook “Working Mother” by celebrating the working mothers among us.  Let’s meet working mother, Ashley Anderson!

 

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Ashley Anderson

Tell us a little bit about your family. 

My husband, Paul, and I have been married for six and a half years.  We met my last year, his sophomore year, at Missouri State University and have been planting our roots here in Springfield, MO, ever since.  He’s a senior manager at Accenture and my understanding of this position is that his brain is so full with technical knowledge about computers and programming that they pay him to perpetuate his nerd status.  Don’t tell him I told you that though because I’m sure he would like to offer a more accurate depiction of his job. I taught high school English for six years but am currently at home with our three wild boys: Thomas (nearly 5) and identical twins, Alistair and Emerick (18 months).

Imagine you’re at a dinner party.  Someone asks the question, “So, what do you do?”  What’s your answer?

I’m home with the kids right now busy with lots of fun things.  I homeschool Thomas, tackle home maintenance stuff, feed all my guys as much good stuff as I can, and squeeze in freelance work in the margins.

How do you think God uses your job to help shape you into all He made you to be? 

My job here at home strips me of my selfishness.  Who doesn’t need more of that?

 

On a practical level, I teach my sons all day.  Almost all of the teaching is natural and prompted by the boys, but I’m also able to draw on my experiences as an educator to provide resources for my kids, and that part of my work at home is incredibly rewarding.

 

In addition, I do a bit of freelance work for the company where my husband works.  I’m contracted to essentially grade tests. It’s not a ton of work and the work is not steady income. However, I’m a firm believer that every little bit counts.  When I see the money I earn deposited into our account, I am joyful to have the opportunity to help us out with flex funds for things like extra traveling, big medical bills, or maybe a gift for someone.

 

What benefits (besides the economical) have you seen to your family that are a direct result of your work away from home? 

I taught for six years with three of those years as a mommy to my firstborn.  I’m grateful that we were blessed with six years of dual-income so that we could pay down debt and experience a great deal of financial freedom as well.

 

My freelance work, my “work away from work” (even if I’m doing it during naps and late nights), is a wonderful experience for me.  Transitioning to full time mom has been difficult for me.  My role feels overwhelming and at times, even invisible.  I’m working on my heart and my humility. In the meantime though, having a side job that I can feel really great about, that has parameters of work I can walk away from because it is “done” feels really gratifying.

How do you balance any guilty feelings you might have in the tension between your workplace and your homespace? 

Now that there is primarily one breadwinner and one homemaker, the tension looks different than when my husband and I were both working.  When I feel overwhelmed at all there is to balance at home, some things turning over quickly like dishes and toys carried across the house by toddlers and other things very slowly like projects chipped away at day by day, I think of how overwhelmed by husband could feel being the one we are all relying on financially.  I try my best to first think of how I can show my husband appreciation for the big role he wakes up to each day.

 

I also have learned that it is extremely effective to privately, honestly, and calmly tell my husband what is on my heart.  There is nothing I have once brought to him that he has not responded to with gentleness and action.  But barking orders and complaining when everyone is searching for socks and trying to get out the door (which I’ve also been guilty of committing)–it just doesn’t work.

 

From what we’ve experienced with our different roles, it’s that tension sneaks up when we aren’t actively trusting each other.  Sometimes I just say:  “We both work hard.  We both are stressed. If we need something, we should say it and we should be eager to both help and accept help.”  I think that reminder cools our jets a bit.
What is one thing that you would ask the people in your life to do to support you more? 

I have the most supportive family and friends. My cup is completely full when it comes to having a good network of people who I can be honest and real with about the joys and struggles of my life right now.

 

Maybe I can use this space as my opportunity to send out a bit of support to other moms:

 

Moms with full-time jobs: Please cut yourself some slack.  Buy semi-prepped food. Hire a house cleaner from time to time. Unfollow groups on Facebook or blogs that are advertising a lifestyle that is not part of your family culture and plan.  Rejoice in the gift that you have to provide for your family in the way that you do and rest in God’s provision and wild, unforeseen plans for your life!

 

Moms at home: It’s okay to pray for and seek out friendships.  That’s not a waste of time: it’s important.  Call out to Jesus in the messiness and close your eyes and think of Mary’s beautiful humility when you feel your invisible work begin to drain your joy.  Your work matters and maybe you should look in the mirror and say it.  It really does! Rejoice in the simple blessings as if you are harvesting fruit from the field and be joyful know that God has wild, unforeseen plans for your life!

 

Thank you, Ashley!  

Are you a working mother?  So was (and is) the Blessed Mother!  If you enjoyed this interview and would like to celebrate working motherhood some more, please consider getting a copy of my $.99 historical fiction ebook, “Working Mother.”  

Interview with Working Mother Jane Lebak

Here at Tomato Pie, we’re celebrating the release of my biblical historical fiction ebook “Working Mother” by celebrating the working mothers among us.  Le’s meet Jane Lebak!

What’s your name?

Jane Lebak

Tell us a little bit about your family. 

My husband and I have been married for 19 years. We have four living children, ages 17 through 6, and one baby who died two hours after birth from a fatal birth defect.

 

Imagine you’re at a dinner party.  Someone asks the question, “So, what do you do?”  What’s your answer?

“I’m a freelance writer.” Generally people follow that up with, “What do you write?” so I reply, “Anything they’ll pay me to write,” which leads to some general laughter and sometimes a partial list of the things I’ve written. Lately I’ve been writing for a local newspaper, and that’s the most respectable and familiar thing for them so I talk about that. If you tell people you write books, they get a deer-in-the-headlights look if they don’t read, and if they do read they ask if they’ve read anything you’ve written and you have to tell them no.

Depending on the context, I may talk to people about my publishing company. I formed my own publisher this year just so I could get my work out there after years of Manhattan publishers saying it was good enough but wouldn’t be popular enough to land on the bestseller lists. You don’t want me to start talking about that, though — not if you want to enjoy the rest of the dinner party. I’m sure people would start nervously scanning for exits if I got on a roll about that subject, so I try not to get started.

 

How do you think God uses your job to help shape you into all He made you to be? 

I feel much more alive and closer to God when I’m writing. God gave me a skill with words and the opportunity to develop that skill. When I can leverage that skill on behalf of other people, that’s just an amazing experience. Especially with my newspaper work, I feel as if I’m able to capture everyday successes, joys, and dreams and put them out there for the greater community to experience.

Also, when I’m writing fiction, I feel as if I’m going deeper into myself, learning more about people and experiences and thoughts. Oftentimes in fiction I’m working out the answers to questions I haven’t even gotten a chance yet to ask myself, and when I find the answers, they take me by surprise: this is what I needed to learn all along. If the Holy Spirit is using my characters’ adversity to shape me, that’s awesome.

But one other way God shapes me through my writing is that I begin to get a sense of how God interacts with us. Obviously this is an imperfect model because my characters aren’t alive and never can become self-aware, but on the other hand, I’ve learned about God as not having disposable people or the way God can love even people who are engaged in the most reprehensible actions. I like to think of the Creative side of God kind of as an author, and then writing makes me closer to Him.
What benefits (besides the economical) have you seen to your family that are a direct result of your work away from home? 

I’m not quite so much of a grump when I’m able to get into my own head for a while and put my energy into something outside of us. I learn a lot from my research or interviews and can carry those tidbits back into our everyday life. I’m happier when I’m working on a book, and that benefits everyone. Also, I no longer feel incompetent because I have affirmation in my products that I’m absolutely competent. I’m pushing my comfort zone every time I try something new, and that has to make me a better parent and a better advocate for my family.
How do you balance any guilty feelings you might have in the tension between your workplace and your homespace? 

I try to keep some time work-free for my children because (as I learned early on ) when you work from home, you could let your work engulf your daily life if you’re not careful, especially if it’s something you love to do. Therefore I keep Sunday work-free, and I try not to be working on my books when my children are home. At this point, I’m still at home all the time when my children are, and my work output is entirely controlled by how much time I want to give it, so I haven’t been prey to guilty feelings. The only time I really felt guilty was when one of my promotions went live unexpectedly and I spent the next two hours trying to get to work on that — and ended up forgetting to pick up my daughter early from school to take her to an appointment. She had to call me, and even then I didn’t realize what time it was.
What is one thing that you would ask the people in your life to do to support you more? 

My immediate family has been very supportive, so I can’t ask for more from them. I have time to work and free time when I need to get away for an event or meetings with my local writing group. Overall I’d ask my friends and family to help promote my books, either by buying them, reading them, reviewing them, or giving them to other people. None of my extended family read my books. My biggest supporters have come from real-life friends and online friends, and I’m really thankful for them.

 

Thank you, Jane!  

Are you a working mother?  So was (and is) the Blessed Mother!  If you enjoyed this interview and would like to celebrate working motherhood some more, please consider getting a copy of my $.99 historical fiction ebook, “Working Mother.”