dominican

A 7QT?!? I’m as shocked as you are.

Bits o’blogging with a bunch of other bloggers, hosted by Kelly over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

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March for Life: I’ve Lost Control Again: The only reason I have time to do this today is because my grade schooler is going to take a sick day (stomach discomfort and a purple-red sore throat… I see a strep culture in her very near future) and my teenagers are on a bus to the March for Life.

Why am I not going? Because I can’t find a bus willing to take me. I have a life-threatening allergy to peanut proteins, so bad that I have ended up in the ER because someone ate peanuts around me. Now, since I’ve started taking olive leaf extract, I’ve not had that kind of reaction, but I’m sort of gun shy about getting on a bus on a Friday full of faithful Catholics opting for the PB&J over ham sandwiches, it being Friday and all, and finding out that the OLE decided to stop working, but the only way to get me to an ER is to pull over on a jammed I-95 and hope an ambulance can get through, oh, and who’s gonna take care of my kids while I’m being whisked away?

Anyway, every group I’ve contacted about their bus said there’s no way they can ask people to avoid bringing peanuts, so I’m too much of a liability. No MFL for me. But the parish youth group is going, so our teens could go if they wanted to.

They wanted to.

I used to work and volunteer in youth ministry. I now have kids of my own who are at an age to be involved in the youth ministry. The other people’s kids I worked with in the ’90s-Y2K are now grown ups… and very, very few of them still practice the faith.

My eyes are open enough to know that where my teens are now may not be where they end up.

Oh, that’s hard. Oh, that hurts. It hurts enough when it is other people’s kids. I don’t care if they don’t agree with me. I do care if they think they’re escaping the suffering of this world by running into hell. It’s like Ian wrote in “Decades”:

Joy Division, Hell, Crosses, and Letting Our Kids Go, by Erin McCole Cupp #7qt

Where are the young men, the weight on their shoulders?Where are the young men, oh where have they been?
They knocked on the door of hell’s darker chambers.
Pushed to the limit, they dragged themselves in.

Rather than just keep carrying the weight on our shoulders, asking God questions about it, hoping that if we just hold on, He’ll comfort us beyond our deepest imaginings… we ask to be let into hell. In our hurt and fear, we trust instead that hell must be better than whatever pain we face now.

This has been breaking my heart a lot of late. I can’t go into why without telling other people’s stories, stories not mine to tell. I have my own story to tell, of course, but that’s what this blog and my books are for.

But today my kids are Marching for Life. I say that and then warn myself, “Today is not the end of the story.” I think of my youth ministry kids, knocking on hell’s door. God, however, the God of all consolation, reminds me that today is not the end of their story, either.

None of them were ever “my” kids, anyway. They were and remain His. So I let them go, because that is Truth, and God is WHO AM. In other words, He is not fear. He is not lies. He is not humans possessing other humans. He is not control.

He is reality. Sometimes reality hurts, but I’ll take reality over lies any old day.

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an-open-book

Open Book: Aaaaaand on that cheery note, I initially started this post to let anyone led back here from 7QT/TATL that the best kept linkup secret in the world of Catholic readers of books is Carolyn’s 1st Wednesday Open Book linkup.

It’s a really supportive community of Catholic book bloggers who are on the cutting edge of what’s going on with the present-day Catholic literary scene. If you haven’t checked it out already, you really should. Carolyn is a gracious host, and while, yes, Open Book has added to my already sky-high TBR pile, it’s also helped me weed out some stuff that I otherwise would’ve wasted time reading.

It’s not just Catholic books, either. Admittedly, my time constraints limit my contribution to whatever we’re doing for that month’s Sabbath Rest Book Talk. Still, several of the linkers blog what the whole family is reading, including the kids, and that’s where I’ve gotten some of the best-loved readalouds for my once-struggling reader. She’s less-struggling now, in part due to the great recs from Open Book bloggers.

Seriously. Make with the clicky.

Oh, and if you want links to watch each Sabbath Rest Book Talk as it happens emailed directly to you inbox, I have a handy SRBT reminder sign up here.

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Les Mis: Last year we took the kids to see a high school performance of Les Miserables. I love that show. My grade schooler loves it, now, too. At one point she wanted to have a Les Mis themed birthday party, which led to much hilarity (Let’s play Build the Barricade! No birthday cake, though. You’ll have to break a windowpane to steal a loaf of bread, then go fetch water from the well all alone in the dark….)

I like to play music via YouTube when I do my morning chores, but I got sick of putting on Les Mis only to turn away from the dishes to find all three kids clustered around my phone screen instead of doing their chores. So this week we borrowed the Les Miserable 10th Anniversary Dream Cast DVD from the library and had “dinner theatre” on Wednesday night (eating dinner in front of the TV). It was fun!

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Story of Civilization & stained glass cookies: I think I’ve blogged here however briefly about how much we love TAN Books’ Story of Civilization. We’re on Volume 2, The Medieval World. Truth be told, I’m not finding it as strong a program as Volume 1, The Ancient World, so I’m filling in a lot of the gaps with stuff I pull off of Pinterest. Yesterday we made Stained Glass Cookies for our study of medieval architecture. It was fun, and they were pretty tasty. For the “glass,” I didn’t have any Jolly Ranchers in the house, so we made microwave glass candy the day before.

If you want to see more pics of what we do with SOC (and more pics of our ridiculous dogs), I post them on Instagram far more faithfully than I get them here.

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Duolingo: I’m dusting of my French. Anybody want to join a French club? I ended up being “LaMereDeLe” on there, because apparently if you try to call yourself “La Mere de Les Jumelles,” it cuts you off. Cheese-eating surrender monkeys. Anyway, I could use other people with whom to practice, in preparation for…

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Pilgrimage: This year, God willing, we will be making a Marian pilgrimage as a family, with stops at Walsingham, Lourdes, and Knock. I understand that Haut-Pyrenees/Provence are not like Paris, where, not only is the dialect different, but if you ask someone if they speak English, it’s all, “Non, non, je ne comprends,” but if you start out speaking in French, suddenly it’s all, “Ah! I speeek Eeeeenglish. Your, ehn, accent eeez not baaat.” I speak from experience here. Still, for my own mental joy, I’d really like to be able to talk to the car rental guy, the housing hosts, the server, etc., without them being annoyed by more ignorant Americans.

Anyway, pray for us, please? Meanwhile, if you have any prayer requests for us to carry with us, we will be setting up something more organized for collecting them, but go ahead an comment below while you wait.

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Get Moving is almost ready! And here’s a little sneak preview of the cover! The draft is on the editor’s desk as we speak. You’ll get the finished product for free if you subscribe to my newsletter, but if you don’t want that annoyance, it’ll just be 99c on Amazon.

Okay, I’ve taken even more time than I planned. Sick kid is still abed, but my usual dog walkers are on a bus, dressed in layers, heading for DC. Pray for them. And me. And all of us.

Seven Quick Takes: Bits of Blogging Linkup with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum

Have 7 quick things to say? Have 7 not quick things to say? Blog ’em up and link ’em up at Kelly’s place!

*Image credit: Björn S. [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

September’s Open Book & Sabbath Rest Book Talk

Carolyn Astfalk has a first Wednesday of the month book review linkup!

In the interests of being as efficient with my time as I possibly can, I’m killing two birds with one stone. In addition to reviewing books for #OpenBook, I’ve started a monthly event on Facebook Live over at my author page. It’s called Sabbath Rest Book Talk, and in it I’ll talk about a few of the books I’ve read in the past month in terms of how they, as fiction, help us grow in humanity.

This month’s focus was on meaning, or how fiction uses meaning to convey layer upon layer of experience, understanding, and dimensionality of the human experience. When we humans use symbols to communicate meaning, we give flesh and bone and substance to the invisible.

September’s SRBT Featured Fiction:

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

The Lion’s Heart by Dena Hunt

(Click here for my more detailed review of The Lion’s Heart)

A Chair for My Mother by Vera B. Williams

Other stuff I’m reading:

It is Right and Just by Rev. John Cunningham, OP & Rev. George Cardinal Pell [nonfiction]

Night by Elie Weisel [narrative nonfiction]

And here’s September’s Sabbath Rest Book Talk video:

What are you reading? Don’t forget to link up YOUR #OpenBook reviews over at Carolyn’s!

Interview with Working Mother Tiffany, the Catholic Librarian

Tiffany the Catholic Librarian

Here at Tomato Pie, we’re celebrating the release of my biblical historical fiction ebook “Working Mother” by celebrating the working mothers among us. Today is the feast of my Dominican patron, St. Thomas Aquinas. In honor of this saint who spent plenty of time in the library (and whose work has sent several of us there), let’s meet working mother Tiffany, the Catholic Librarian!

What’s your name?

Tiffany, and I blog at Life of a Catholic Librarian. I write about my Catholic faith, my family, the liturgical year, librarianship, crafts, my love of Middle Eastern dancing (which I started studying as a once per week timeslot of pure “me time” to charge my batteries a bit), and generally amusing things that happen in my daily, and ordinary, life. J

Tell us a little bit about your family.

This coming January 8^th, I’ll have been married for 10 years to my adorable husband, Mike. The date sounds a bit unusual for a wedding anniversary, I know, but we enjoy winter and thus had a snowy wedding day! Our anniversary also falls during Christmas season, which is a liturgical fact I just couldn’t resist. J Mike is an adjunct professor of philosophy and mathematics at several local colleges, two of them Catholic and one a community college. We have two children. Our son, Henry, just turned 9, and our daughter Anne is 3. Henry attends a local Catholic school and is in 4^th grade this year. He enjoys reading, crafts, Legos and video games, and recently joined the school wrestling team. He is a very gentle and reserved child, in fact his quiet personality reminds me so much of myself. Anne is *very* precocious and outgoing! She loves to have books read to her and to color, and is such a sweet, loving little girl. Mike is at home with her during the day while he is on semester breaks, and several mornings per week, and she stays with her grandparents while he is teaching and I am at work.

Imagine you’re at a dinner party. Someone asks the question, “So, what do you do?” What’s your answer?

I am a librarian at a large state university, and I am a wife and mother. I do not see those things in that specific order in terms of their significance in my life, but when someone asks me that in such a setting, they are generally wondering if I work outside of the home, and if so, in what capacity.

How do you think God uses your job to help shape you into all He made you to be?

I think that God uses my job to teach me things every day. Patience, perseverance, compassion, understanding, clear communication, all of those things and more. For the most part, I am helping students each day, and I think that we can learn a lot from each other.

What benefits (besides the economical) have you seen to your family that are a direct result of your work away from home?

I think that working outside of the home makes me a better mother. This is certainly not the case for everybody, but for me it is. When I was home on maternity leave with my son, I did not know any mothers who stayed at home with their children, and so I had no support system during the day. I found myself very depressed from the lack of adult interaction and it was a difficult time that I find painful to reflect back on. Now, I do have a few friends who are home with their children during the day, so that would be a huge help to be sure. But we do need my salary and benefits for our family finances, so that isn’t an option for me at this time. That aside, I do find that the social interactions and interesting challenges deal with each day at work stimulate me such that when I return home in the evenings, I am ready and able to spend that quality time with my children and husband.

How do you balance any guilty feelings you might have in the tension between your workplace and your homespace?

This is the conundrum for all working mothers, yes? It is difficult, but has gotten easier over time. I know that I am doing what I have to do for the good of the entire family, and that certainly helps. I also think that I am setting a positive example for my kids in that women have options and prayerful choices available to them depending upon the needs of their family. It is obviously a beautiful and good thing for women to be at home with their children. That situation, however, is not possible for everyone, and so long as a woman has discerned her role in prayer and with her husband, other possibilities are good too.

What is one thing that you would ask the people in your life to do to support you more?

I think that my family is very supportive of my working role. My husband, who works less hours than me due to his status as adjunct faculty rather than full-time, takes care of SO much around the house and for the kids, and my in-laws help out so much with childcare. I really do not think they could do more, truly. They are wonderful.

Thank you so much, Tiffany!

Are you a working mother? So was (and is) the Blessed Mother! If you enjoyed this interview and would like to celebrate working motherhood some more, please consider getting a copy of my $.99 historical fiction ebook, “Working Mother.”

Interview With Working Mother Cristina

Here at Tomato Pie, we’re celebrating the release of my biblical historical fiction ebook “Working Mother” by celebrating the working mothers among us. Today is the feast of Dominican St. Raymond of Peñafort, so I gotta draw some attention to my sister in St. Dominic, working mother Cristina of Filling My Prayer Closet!

What’s your name?

Cristina

Tell us a little bit about your family.

Mike and I have two boys, ages 10 and 7. We moved from NYC to PA 4 years ago so that I could take care of the kids and the loss of my income would not be such a hit. Your dollar stretches a little farther here than in NYC, as you can imagine. While I was at home with the boys, I worked on obtaining my master’s degree to teach high school English. I’m still two classes away from finishing that. In those 4 years, my husband was laid off for 6 weeks, got another job, and this time it was a work from home position. He travels internationally from time to time but for the most part, he’s the stay at home Dad now.

Imagine you’re at a dinner party. Someone asks the question, “So, what do you do?” What’s your answer?

“I’m an executive assistant at a business information company. I know, that’s vague. Basically, I make sure my leader doesn’t have to worry about anything administrative. I also provide comic relief.”

How do you think God uses your job to help shape you into all He made you to be?

My husband and I talk all the time about future planning, and options. We’re kind of obsessed with it. Let me explain. We always want to be as prepared as we can be for anything that could come up. We examine all scenarios from the logical to the irrational, and then pose a “what would we do?” question around it. That’s how I rejoined the workforce. We sat down and listed what our priorities were: better neighborhood with an even better school district, but also getting the boys into Catholic school. I’m sure you’re asking why we would worry about the school district if we were putting them in Catholic school? Well, within the first two years of being a stay-at-home mom, my husband was laid off for 6 weeks, he was on disability and I was still dealing with epilepsy in my oldest son (he’s since recovered – very rare). The thinking is, if we ever can’t afford Catholic school, at least they will “fall” into the best school district in the area.

This meant that I had to go back to work to help with the increase in expenses. I did not want to. I was so scared. I loved being home and with my babies, um boys. I was also a new convert to the Catholic faith and was worried that “work” would distract me from my faith journey. I spent some time in Adoration to pray for His will. There were three positions and I wanted one, one wanted me, and one of them was back in corporate. I did not want to go back to corporate. Ever. Well, the job I wanted never called me back (until I had already accepted the corporate job), the job that wanted me took forever to make an offer and the one I wanted, was with my Diocese. The Diocese called me the day after I accepted my the job I’m in. There was a mix up with paperwork. Turns out that my leader goes to my parish, and there are quite a few people here who also go to my parish, or are Catholic. God heard me, and placed me where he knew I would land softly. There is plenty of flexibility to see school plays, to work from home if my boys get sick, or need to go to a doctor’s appt. And now, we live across the street from our Parish and their school.

What benefits (besides the economical) have you seen to your family that are a direct result of your work away from home?

The boys spend a lot of time with their Dad, which I love. I got to spend every day with the boys for two years while he traveled. We moved in August, and the following year, between January and July, he was home collectively, for a month. I was in a new town and knew no one. I was the one walking the dog, taking the kids to school, homework, school events, taking out the garbage, all of it, by myself. That was tough. I didn’t even know where the nearest grocery store or hospital was. So to have him with them now, he gets his turn at one on one time with the boys.

I also think that working with people who happen to also be Catholic, and seeing them at mass, week after week is just nice. Whenever I think about it, I think “nice touch, God.”

How do you balance any guilty feelings you might have in the tension between your workplace and your homespace?

I don’t really have guilty feelings. My commute is 10 – 15 minutes by car each way and my job / leader are flexible when I need to attend an event, volunteer at the school, or the occasional emergency pick up. The job I have now isn’t like the jobs I had in NYC. When I leave the office at 5PM, I don’t have to check email throughout the evening to keep up, nor will I get caught at 2AM making travel arrangements for someone in China, pretending to my husband that I have to use the bathroom. True story. Everything I remembered about corporate in NYC, is not corporate in PA. I have a lot of work/life balance. As cliche as it may sound, I am truly blessed with the job I have.
What is one thing that you would ask the people in your life to do to support you more?

We don’t really have a lot of people in our life. My husband and I moved to this area in PA practically sight unseen (we visited communities twice before deciding where we would live). We were both working 14 hour days in NYC and realized it wasn’t working for our family. We decided and moved quickly. We don’t have family here, so we are all very close; all as in my husband and the boys. I did ask that my husband take on doing his own laundry when I went back to work. He hates it. So I still do it when I can. I mean, he does take care of everything else: cooking, dishes, mopping, sweeping, dusting, grocery shopping, the list goes on and on. Are you sure you shouldn’t be interviewing him?

Hee hee. Maybe next time. Give him fair warning? Thank you, Cristina!

“So how has becoming a lay Dominican changed your life?”

ETA: If you want to check out Dominican spirituality without leaving the comfort of your introversion, subscribe to my newsletter and get your free copy of Get Moving With St. Dominic’s Nine Ways of Prayer.

Someone recently asked this question on Facebook. I thought I’d post my answer here, too, as being a Dominican is as much a part of my writing life as having fingers that type or having an imagination.

That’s my little watchdog looking at my little watchdog statue.

In my 20s, I went to a local retreat house. Emblazoned on a ceiling beam were the words, “To Praise, To Bless, To Preach.” I stopped short when I saw those words, and it was like I could almost hear something click into place in my heart. At the time, I didn’t even know what a Dominican is! Being a Dominican has taught me the value of speaking, of silence, of reading and writing. Dominican life has taught me to value myself as a precious member of a huge family that wants nothing but the best for me. I often say the Franciscans are the Hippies of the Church, but we’re the nerds. Being a Dominican has given me the gift of using my nerdiness for God instead of wishing I were one of the cool hippies.

If you would like information about what it means to be a layperson following Jesus in the school of Dominic, make with the clicky.

Again, if you’d rather check out Dominican spirituality without leaving the comfort of your introversion, subscribe to my newsletter and get your free copy of Get Moving With St. Dominic’s Nine Ways of Prayer.