QUIZ: What’s your Cycle-breaking Beatitude?

I’m really excited to announce my new gift to you: the “What’s your cycle-breaking Beatitude?” Quiz!

Do you find yourself spinning your wheels in your search for freedom, peace, and creative joy? Take this quiz, and I will send you a FREE PDF chapter from All Things New: Breaking the Cycle & Raising a Joyful Family, custom-chosen based on your individual quiz responses.

If you’re not already an EMC Reader subscriber, you’ll also start receiving Erin’s quarterly newsletter, filled with tips, encouragement, and connection opportunities. 

Do you have any questions for me to answer before you start answering my questions? Comment below!

Sale-ing through a crisis

Yeah, I want you to have this book, but not for the reason you think. I’m a day behind posting this, because my family is facing some mental health challenges. I can’t go into more, because it’s not my story to tell, but I can ask for prayers and patience. I can also attest to the power of resurrection joy alive and real through intentional trauma recovery.

As I’m now in a place to support a loved one going through an excruciatingly painful time, I won’t lie–I hear the scripts, passed to me by own own parents, telling me all the cruel, dismissive, invalidating things I should be saying to someone in pain.

I hear the scripts, let them cry their pain in their twisted way… and I stop them. Those scripts just play out like old tapes, but they do not come out my mouth. By God’s grace and for His glory, they are mere figments of memory. I do not let them become real presence.

It’s nothing short of a miracle. While I’ve done my fair share of perpetuating negative parenting cycles, I see the glorious changes that come from making myself teachable, boundary-blessed, emotionally connected, and so much more than I was taught to be.

If you have experienced the pain that comes from wanting to be a better parent after living through a childhood rife with harm, oh, my sweet sib… it’s more than just a title on a pretty cover from some holier than thou papist publisher. I promise you: God makes ALL THINGS NEW!

I could not have seen our family’s current crisis when I sat down 3 years ago to write this book, but I want to go back and hug the mom I was then and tell her, “You are about to learn so many tools, and they will break your heart and give you and your children wings. You will be amazed at the depths of love God is about to show you.”

I want you to have this book because I want to say those words to YOU, TODAY. All Things New with Our Sunday Visitor Books is on sale at 50% off through December 2. Go to my bio/about link, click on the book cover, and check out the description, reviews, etc. If you’re still unsure, take the “cycle-breaking beatitude quiz,” and based on your answers, I’ll send you a hand-picked chapter of All Things New, for free.

If I could, I would put this joy-on-the-cross feeling in a bottle for you. I can’t. But I can offer you this book. Pray for me & mine. Know I pray for you and yours. I get that this is not something most folks want to talk about in public, so don’t tag anybody in the comments, but if you know someone who might benefit from this book, please send this post to them in a private message.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 19Nov2021

In case it’s news, Kelly Mantoan of Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum has decided that it’s time to put an end to the 7QT weekly linkup. As stated last week, however, I’m going to keep this going. So here ya go.

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Is it sunrise or sunset on some cycles in your life? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Kelly Guest has an AMAZING piece at Catholic Mom on mental health: Thank God for the miracle we didn’t ask for.
  2. Another Catholic Mom piece: Johanna Stamps with Self-care vs. God-care.
  3. Trauma survivors are prone to doing all sorts of painful things in order not to feel the pain of abandonment. Here are 4 Tips to Overcome Fear of Abandonment.
  4. Good Men Project has 5 Lessons I Learned from Surviving Child Abuse.
  5. 3 Ways Unresolved Trauma Derails Relationships, thanks to The Good Men Project.
  6. Oldie but goodie: Melissa Presser at Catholic Mom with her story on rediscovering the person God made her to be–through dance–with And One
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

Skipping the AV this week due to time constraints: I’m working on having some Thanksgiving/holiday prep content for compulsive overeaters. Have a great weekend.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 12Nov2021

So I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Kelly Mantoan of Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum has decided that it’s time to put an end to the 7QT weekly linkup.

So while there will no longer be a place for me to link up this weekly list of resources, articles, and thoughtful content for those of us who live at the places where Catholicism and trauma healing overlap… I’m inclined to keep it going.

Why?

Because over the past few weeks, I was wondering if it might be time for me to move my time resources away from this particular item on the to do list, and someone messaged me privately to say how much she was getting out of these posts, especially in terms of making sense of her past. So at least for now, I’m going to keep posting these as long as my schedule allows. God bless you for reading.

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Ready for growth? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. One of the things I hear the most from people who hear my story is, “But I don’t have trauma.” Well, PTSD is not uncommon.
  2. A question I address in All Things New and that a LOT of family dysfunction survivors ask every day: Should your narcissistic parents have access to your kids?
  3. Trust in God can be such a HUGE barrier for trauma survivors. Laura Nelson at Catholic Mom writes about lessons in humility and trust from her GPS.
  4. Here’s a lovely piece out of Cincinati about community resources and law enforcement working together to build relationships that provide healing for adverse childhood experiences.
  5. Hey, trauma survivors affected by depression: Pope Francis is asking us all to pray for you this month.
  6. If you’ve been reading these posts for any length of time, you may have noticed my interest in the topic of moral injury, especially the perpetrator type. Here’s a great piece that describes moral injury and emerging options on what to do about it.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s media: I received another chance to talk with Anne DeSantis of Patchwork Heart Ministries & Fiat Ministry Network. This one is for last week’s episode of Journeys in Faith, and we talk a little bit about All Things New, a little bit about my reversion story, and a little bit about the forthcoming Filled With Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 5Nov2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Ready for a change? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. 7 Things Someone Who Grew Up Unloved Needs As an Adult
  2. A short & sweet primer on 5 Types of PTSD (which one is your favorite?)
  3. The reason you’re codependent is
  4. Anxious, avoidant, anxious-avoidant… Wanna change attachment styles?
  5. There are true and false crosses? What’s the difference?
  6. What lessons can a blind cat teach us about sudden changes? Christine Johnson at Catholic Mom shares.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s media: I took on distraction in prayer for the October 21 Catholic Mom Facebook Live. How do you handle distraction during prayer? Here are my helpful hints!

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 29Oct2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Looking for a sign? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Compassion shot: Adults with PTSD have lower brain connectivity.
  2. More deeply on that note: People With Neurological Conditions Often Experienced Childhood Trauma.
  3. Moral injury is when hurt people hurt people: The anguish of unintentional killing.
  4. I’m a big promoter of finding groups of supportive voices to help you rebuild your relational self. Here’s a piece rating (in that writer’s opinion) The 6 Best Online PTSD Support Groups.
  5. Another study on the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on chronic disease in middle age: read it here.
  6. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s media: Dr. Ramaini on a little-mentioned type of emotional abuse: future faking.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 15Oct2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Looking for a sign? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Ginny Kochis has gold at Catholic Mom: 4 Things No One Tells You About Therapy.
  2. While I didn’t have memory flushing myself, I can definitely relate to fellow trauma survivor Melissa Presser’s piece at Catholic Mom on God’s Plan A.
  3. I know I’ve been a part of the culture of labeling people “toxic,” but I’m trying to get away from that, because… dang, everybody deserves hope. Here’s a piece at Verywell Mind about what to do if you suspect you may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder–because there are people with NPD who do recognize that they are the cause of their own suffering but just. can’t. stop.
  4. “The way I was treated by police was worse.” More on why people don’t report abuse.
  5. Helping traumatized children in the here and now is a thing. Janelle Peregoy is at Catholic Mom with 7 Ways to Support Foster Families.
  6. I’m hoping to catch The Starling. Sr. Nancy Usselman has a review at Catholic Mom.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s media: Have you been called difficult for not taking the narcissist’s bait? I sure have…

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 8Oct2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Is it time for change? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Have I shared this one yet? How toxic parenting can lead to sibling warfare.
  2. Trauma robs us of the riches God intended for us as his image-bearers. Trauma impoverishes us. Poverty traumatizes. Roxane Salonen is at Catholic Mom with When We, or Someone We Love, Are the Poor.
  3. Childhood trauma seen as determinant of health in neurology.
  4. More on that channel: Child abuse and neglect linked to early mortality.
  5. “[O]ur internal compass doesn’t point toward love, it ‘points toward home.’ Ouch.” Here’s how TikTok taught me that I’m a narcissist enabler.
  6. The connection between trauma and addiction
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s media: Filled With Good’s beta team starts the course this week. Part of Week 1 is My Food Story. Watch here:

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 1Oct2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Is it time for change? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Working on Filled With Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts (apply for a spot on the beta team at this link), and I came across this one: The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study — the largest, most important public health study you never heard of — began in an obesity clinic.
  2. Even if you’re past the toddler tantrum stage, you still may be experiencing (or letting loose with) the less obvious kinds of tantrums & meltdowns. “Ask the pediatrician: How can parents deal with children’s tantrums” goes way beyond the usual “how to derail your child’s emotional train” into the things children need from their parents outside of their tantrum time.
  3. I was so excited to see @mentalhealness on TikTok featured in this article, “Self-confessed narcissist exposes inner thoughts of an emotional abuser.
  4. Echo News out of Australia has an article on emotional abuse, “Loved ones cut the deepest.”
  5. Well, what a surprise! It turns out subsidiarity (helping parents so they can help & bond with their children) is more effective than rounding up kids without their parents and trying to fix them! What a concept! How Parents Can Find Their Strength and Resillience.
  6. “Why didn’t you report this abuse?” Here’s why: Olympic Athletes’ Testimonies Show Why Rape Victims Don’t Trust Police.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

For this week’s media, I’m sharing a recent find: What happens when someone with an untreated personality disorder becomes a grandparent?

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 24Sep2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

How much of a bridge do you have in your life to walk across the waters? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Yours Truly has a piece over at OSV Newsweekly: The poverty that breaks the cycle of abuse.
  2. California has a prisons project that’s teaching inmates about how trauma leads to dangerous choices–including the choices that landed them behind bars. Read about it here.
  3. Dysfunctional families tend to develop unhealthy roles and conflict between siblings. In case you haven’t noticed, Catholic Mom has been such a resource to me for teaching me how to be a healthier parent. Sheri Wohlfert has an article there on sibling rivalry.
  4. I don’t know about you, but when I see justice being served in the interests of kids who have been abused at the hands of denying, deflecting, selfish adults, something inside of me heals. If that kind of thing helps you, here’s an article (no real gory details, thankfully) about two little girls standing up to their father’s abuse and bringing him to justice through their courage and persistence: Father convicted of molesting daughters.
  5. On that note, do you know about Bikers Against Child Abuse? They’re an organization that helps support kids who are bringing their abusers to justice. A. Ma. Zing. I love, love, LOVE BACA! Whenever I need to have hope in humanity, I visit their site.
  6. About a year ago, a recovery friend called me, and when I picked up the phone, she said, “So I know we’re not Jewish–” My response, “I don’t know what you’re going to say next, but this is the best start to a phone call I’ve ever had.” I’ve had some pretty deep encounters with Jewish culture through family & friends from earliest childhood, so it’s no surprise this article from The Jerusalem Post on sukkot as the PTSD holiday really reached somewhere deep inside of me. “Slaves who built for others now build for themselves.”
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

For this week’s media, let’s look at what Dr. Ramani says about the truthteller/scapegoat role. This one stung like good medicine.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 17Sep2021

Here’s me, doing my bit to participate weekly in Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum.

So here’s…

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Takes. Best described as quick. Seven of them.

Are you ripening… or so afraid of surrendering to harvest that you’re kinda sorta rotting? Maybe it’s time to find your rut-busting Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Verwell Mind has some intriguing bits to share about the emerging science of intergenerational trauma and epigenetics.
  2. “The beautiful thing about praying with Mary through her sorrows is that we realize we are not alone in ours.” MaryBeth Eberhard is at Catholic Mom with Opening Our Hearts.
  3. “Among the book’s key takeaways, the researchers found that… 70 percent had previously experienced childhood trauma.” I mean… surprise? How to Stop School Shooter Violence.
  4. Many of us struggle with thinking we have to do it all and do it perfectly–leading to overwhelm. Lisa Simmons is at Catholic Mom with God Bless My Drunk Squirrels: a Lesson in Letting Go and Letting God.
  5. Many trauma survivors & mental health warriors battle insomnia. Rachel Watkins is at Catholic Mom with Sleeping Well.
  6. Maria Gallagher at Catholic Mom writes about riding the wave of our emotions in Are You There, God?
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

For this week’s media, I’m delighted to share my chat with Rachel at To Grow Good, a podcast devoted to sharing the faith through conversion & reversion stories.

And now go give Kelly and her 7QTs a look see!