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This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Update: My Domestic Church has taken over the weekly 7 Quick Takes. I’ll try linking up there.

Is night falling or fading? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash

[Psst… I’m finishing up a 5 Day “Sabotage Your Self-sabotage” Challenge over on social media today. If this is the first you’re hearing of it, the hub is on my Facebook author page. I’m also running a limited time offer: give $10 towards my Truth Heals work on ko-fi through January 24, and get a signed copy of All Things New sent to your US mailing address. And now with this week’s list.]

  1. Liv Harrison (hey, fellow recover-er from obesity!) is at OSV is reminding us to give ourselves permission to be boldly transformed by God.
  2. I keep hearing people tell me that they exhibit symptoms of trauma survivorship and yet “But I don’t have trauma like YOUR trauma.” Maybe you need to read up on Attachment Trauma.
  3. The Good Men Project has a piece on a subject I find fascinating: restorative justice.
  4. What is a good safe man? Let’s see what men’s advocate Andrew Bauman has to say.
  5. Interesting article to be had here on how a study explores how effects of childhood abuse extend into middle age.
  6. Has anybody seen Hawkeye yet? I have not, but Fr. Vince Kuna has.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s AV is my Catholic Mom Facebook Live from last week, where I share the weird tip that helps me keep my resolve in the face of temptation.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers. Now give My Domestic Church a look-see.

Challenge: Sabotage Your Self-sabotage

The statistic I heard is that most New Year’s resolutions flop within three weeks.

We are in the third week of 2022.

Are you losing your resolve? Or is it already gone?

This week I’m going to be offering quick video lessons and assignments to help you get your resolve back–or to find it for the first time.

These are tips I’ve used and have been using to lose and keep off 100lbs of weight from binge eating disorder. Sharing these tips is my gift to you.

Each day I’ll post a lesson on one weird resolve-building tip in the morning, a tiny assignment to help you start using that tool, and then at 5pm EST, I’ll be going on Facebook Live on my author page to be available for discussion about that day’s tool.

Access the daily lesson, assignment, AND the live discussion on my Facebook page.

Access just the daily lesson and assignment on my Instagram.

Access just the video lesson on my TikTok.

Comment here or in any of the above places with your questions, experience, and concerns.

If you want more tips on how to live life with more power, love, and self-control, especially with the help of the Beatitudes, you might want to pick up a copy of All Things New: Breaking the Cycle & Raising a Joyful Family.

If you’re sure you want to give that a try, for this week (January 17-24, 2022) I’m offering anyone who supports me on ko-fi for a minimum of $10 a signed copy of All Things New (US mailing addresses only).

Not sure if All Things New would be a good fit? Take the “What’s your cycle-breaking Beatitude?” quiz, and I’ll send you a FREE chapter of ATN personally selected by me for you based on your individual quiz results. You have nothing to lose except maybe some habits that are keeping you from living a life of power, love and self-control, so… why not?

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Update: My Domestic Church has taken over the weekly 7 Quick Takes. I’ll try linking up there.

Freezing or thawing? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Michelle Hamel has an amazing blog about God’s long game, healing the wounded so their message will draw others to Him for healing: The Gift of an Unexpected Connection.
  2. Oh my goodness, here we are two weeks into the new year and I’m just sharing here that All Things New made it onto TWO best books of 2021 lists. First, go take a peek at ARK Watson’s Insta, where she says “And All Things New was more revelatory than a year’s worth of therapy.”
  3. And Carolyn Astfalk includes ATN in her Best Adult Nonfiction category. Thank you!
  4. Speaking of Carolyn, she has a lovely piece at Catholic Mom about nighttime parenting–a ship I alas missed, but reading this article was a balm to the wound not only to what I should have been but to what I should myself have received.
  5. A support group sister turned me on to Rumi’s poem “The Guest House.” I found it a great reminder of the fact that our feelings and thoughts are neither obligations nor life sentences but rather guests that do not stay forever.
  6. Dr. Craig Malking of Rhttps://www.amazon.com/Rethinking-Narcissism-Secret-Recognizing-Narcissists/dp/0062348116ethinking Narcissism has a quick read out there: 8 Lasting Effects of Having Narcissistic Parents.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s AV, as we approach the birthday of Robert Burns why not, here’s another goodie from Cinema Therapy, this one on BRAVE.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers. Now give My Domestic Church a look-see.

Coming Soon… Heard Mentality

Coming soon to an Instagram, Facebook page, and TikTok near you…

Feeling lost?

I’m going to be challenging you to… GET HEARD!

In an effort to create a place where people can connect in healing with others walking the cycle-breaker’s walk, January 17-20, I’m going to offer a TOTALLY FREE cycle-breaking 5 Day Challenge:


SABOTAGE YOUR SELF-SABOTAGE!


Each morning, on my Facebook and Instagram pages, I’ll post a scripture verse, a 3-minute video lesson (the video itself I’ll post on TikTok), and an assignment for participants to complete, designed to help us break our patterns of self-sabotage. Then we’ll do a Facebook Live Chat on my author page daily at 5:00pm Eastern Time.

During this challenge, I’ll be offering a signed paperback copy of All Things New to anyone who supports me on Ko-Fi for US$15 or more (US Mailing addresses only–international addresses will receive a copy sent through Amazon as well as a graphic you can print out at home and stick inside your copy). 

Why “Heard Mentality,” you ask? Because God wants us in His “heard.” Nope, not a misspelling. There’s so much focus on our need to hear God–and that’s a good focus! That said, there’s also so much woundedness teaching us the lie that God does not hear us.

Lies harm. Truth heals. If you’re feeling lost, let’s get heard together. I hope you’ll join me starting January 17.

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

How is your first week of the new year? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Canva
  1. It’s not all maladaptive: 5 Valuable Life Skills Often Learned by Those with Complex PTSD.
  2. The Catholic Telegraph asks and responds to the question: Is Addiction Sinful?
  3. “And especially for a woman to be charged with these things.” One way the cycle of abuse gets perpetuated and minimized is by the lie that only men can abuse. At the BBC, here’s Ghislaine Maxwell: Survivors speak of relief after guilty verdict.
  4. With Mary as our Model, a Mother Finds Peace: thank you, Catholic Mom’s MaryBeth Eberhard.
  5. Here’s another idea on how to make mental health resources accessible: America’s first mental health barbershop movement.
  6. What is Future Faking?
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

Plain visual rather than AV this week, and posting it because it’s still Christmas in the Catholic world, but here is how the Rudolph movie should have ended.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 31Dec2021

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Are you celebrating or just exploding? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Canva
  1. Speaking of fireworks, give a little thought to your local vets this NYE before you light up the fireworks. [Side note–if you have PTSD or CPTSD not connected to incendiary devices but you still experience fireworks as terrifying… that’s okay. Our bodies have been wired to survive by assuming worst case scenario. You don’t need to have active combat experience for it to be okay to give yourself a generous helping of self-compassion and maybe buy some noise-cancelling earphones or do something that will give you cozy feelings rather than terror feelings.]
  2. This week, I got to post at Catholic Mom about Christmas, Holy Saturday, and the joy and grief of watching the kids get ready to fly the nest: The Twin Sisters, Joy and Grief.
  3. Dr. Alexis Dallara-Marsh is at Catholic Mom writing about being alert for occasions of gratitude even in the midst of difficulty.
  4. Many of us have had to make (or are in the process of making) the painful decision to go no contact in an important relationship. The Good Men Project has reflections on questions we ask ourselves about What Happens When I Go No Contact.
  5. A huge part of trauma recovery happens when we learn to accept the present moment as it is without wanting to change it or rush off to the next supposedly better thing. AnnAliese Harry is at Catholic Mom writing about how to stay present in A Blink of an Eye.
  6. Anecdotally, it looks like there has been an overall decline in mental health since, oh, about 1973. Maybe having fewer people around to be our friends and support network, not to mention creating a culture where voices can be silenced forever for the crime of making a biological parent uncomfortable, is creating a greater culture of mental and emotional destruction, C-PTSD, and overall disconnection. Maybe support a culture of life?
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

Plain visual rather than AV this week, and posting it because it’s still Christmas in the Catholic world, but here is how the Rudolph movie should have ended.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 24Dec2021

In case it’s news, Kelly Mantoan of Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum has decided that it’s time to put an end to the 7QT weekly linkup. As stated previously, however, I’m going to keep this going. So here ya go.

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Are you hiding or hunting, watching or sheltering? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. An oldie from me: Christmas is not supposed to be like this.
  2. Ashley Easter has 3 Reasons the Holidays are Triggering. Good for survivors and their supporters alike.
  3. Catholic Mom’s Susan Ciancio writes about Finding Joy in Difficult Holidays.
  4. Nicole Johnson is at Catholic Mom, too, about The Need to Be Heard.
  5. Say no to these 7 behaviors over at Psych Central.
  6. For those praying over going no contact with immature family members, especially as a result of their behavior around the holidays, here’s another piece from Psych Central, How and when to cut ties.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

For our AV, I leave you with a beautiful stairwell “Ave Maria.” This season, I wish you much unexpected beauty.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 19Nov2021

Do you need to see the light in your darkness? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. Patrice Fagnant-Macarthur is at Catholic Mom with a review of Catholic therapist Tommy Tighe’s new book, St. Dymphna’s Playbook, which shares a title with his podcast.
  2. Surprise! University of Georgia researchers find connection between childhood trauma and opioid addiction.
  3. If you have heard of someone who has gone no contact with an emotionally immature parent or other family of origin, and you just don’t understand how any one could do that to family… read The Missing Missing Reasons.
  4. You’re not alone: Compulsive showering as a trauma coping mechanism is a thing.
  5. This may be a repeat, but I know I have some new readers (::waves::), but here are 7 Things People Who Grew Up Unloved Need As an Adult.
  6. Looking for support as you face holiday gatherings with emotionally immature people? Please visit my Resources page.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

For our AV, if you need to see your own virtue after coming out of developmental & complex trauma, check out Cinema Therapy’s episode on Katniss of The Hunger Games.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers.

7QT for Catholic Trauma Survivors 19Nov2021

In case it’s news, Kelly Mantoan of Kelly’s Seven Quick Takes over at This Ain’t the Lyceum has decided that it’s time to put an end to the 7QT weekly linkup. As stated previously, however, I’m going to keep this going. So here ya go.

This Week’s Resources for Catholic Trauma Survivors

Are you hiding or hunting, watching or sheltering? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude. Image: Unsplash
  1. FemCatholic has a salient piece for those of us who medicated our trauma with eating behaviors that impacted our health: Fat Bias is Causing Women Like Me to Be Misdiagnosed.
  2. Depression and Trauma: What’s the link?
  3. For anyone who’s chosen to protect themselves through going no contact with a past abuser in this age of social media, a writer at The Verge asks Should Abuse Survivors Have to Disappear from the Internet?
  4. When you’ve been in as much pain as the average complex trauma survivor has been, it’s easy to pour our energy into fixing all the pain we see. Rose Folsom at Catholic Mom writes about How to Listen Like Jesus.
  5. Waiting for justice. Waiting to be heard. Waiting to be safely loved. What it means to wait for the Lord is Leonard J. DeLorenzo’s topic at OSV.
  6. “Think you might be overdoing it here, Dad?” “Russ, when was the last time I overdid anything?” As we ramp into Christmas, here’s an old piece from The Onion (yes, That Onion) about the dangers of overfunctioning as illustrated in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
  7. Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

For our AV, here are some tips for holiday parties! (Psst, please follow me on TikTok for wry Catholic mental health humor & the occasional serious support.)

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers.

Sale-ing through a crisis

Yeah, I want you to have this book, but not for the reason you think. I’m a day behind posting this, because my family is facing some mental health challenges. I can’t go into more, because it’s not my story to tell, but I can ask for prayers and patience. I can also attest to the power of resurrection joy alive and real through intentional trauma recovery.

As I’m now in a place to support a loved one going through an excruciatingly painful time, I won’t lie–I hear the scripts, passed to me by own own parents, telling me all the cruel, dismissive, invalidating things I should be saying to someone in pain.

I hear the scripts, let them cry their pain in their twisted way… and I stop them. Those scripts just play out like old tapes, but they do not come out my mouth. By God’s grace and for His glory, they are mere figments of memory. I do not let them become real presence.

It’s nothing short of a miracle. While I’ve done my fair share of perpetuating negative parenting cycles, I see the glorious changes that come from making myself teachable, boundary-blessed, emotionally connected, and so much more than I was taught to be.

If you have experienced the pain that comes from wanting to be a better parent after living through a childhood rife with harm, oh, my sweet sib… it’s more than just a title on a pretty cover from some holier than thou papist publisher. I promise you: God makes ALL THINGS NEW!

I could not have seen our family’s current crisis when I sat down 3 years ago to write this book, but I want to go back and hug the mom I was then and tell her, “You are about to learn so many tools, and they will break your heart and give you and your children wings. You will be amazed at the depths of love God is about to show you.”

I want you to have this book because I want to say those words to YOU, TODAY. All Things New with Our Sunday Visitor Books is on sale at 50% off through December 2. Go to my bio/about link, click on the book cover, and check out the description, reviews, etc. If you’re still unsure, take the “cycle-breaking beatitude quiz,” and based on your answers, I’ll send you a hand-picked chapter of All Things New, for free.

If I could, I would put this joy-on-the-cross feeling in a bottle for you. I can’t. But I can offer you this book. Pray for me & mine. Know I pray for you and yours. I get that this is not something most folks want to talk about in public, so don’t tag anybody in the comments, but if you know someone who might benefit from this book, please send this post to them in a private message.