Author: Erin McCole Cupp

Erin McCole Cupp is a wife, mother, and lay Dominican who lives with her family of vertebrates somewhere out in the middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania. In December 2020, look for her next book: All Things New: Breaking the Cycle & Raising a Joyful Family (Our Sunday Visitor), a book about parenting spirituality for survivors of family abuse and dysfunction. Find out more at erinmccolecupp.com .

5 Signs You’re Treating Lent Like a Diet

Catholic? Asking yourself, “What should I give up for Lent?” It might not be food. Here are five signs you might be treating Lent like a diet.

1: You binge big-time on Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday/Fastnacht Day/Pancake Day/Whatever because that’s the only way to gear up for fasting on Ash Wednesday

If the lead-up to Lent is an exercise in gluttony because you’ll “be good tomorrow,” you’re losing sight of the fact that you’re already good. Fasting doesn’t make you better.

2: Your penances are mostly if not all food-related

If you focus your Lenten penances on “making my food good” or “eating better” or “fixing my relationship with food” to the exclusion of penances that help you grow in self-control (rather than food-control), you might be treating Lent like a 40-day fix-it program.

3: You’re relying on the scale to evaluate whether or not you’re being “good”

If your Lenten penances are about making yourself weigh a certain number and not about God’s redemptive power to save, you might be missing the point of these 40 days.

4: When you slip on your Lenten penance, you go overboard, thinking, “Well, I’ve already messed up. I might as well enjoy myself.”

This is a big one, and it’s common. It’s also the spiritual equivalent of, “Well, I’ve broken one of my bones. I may as well go break the rest of them.” If all your slips become slides, you might be treating Lent like a diet.

5: You try to “balance” your slips with even more restriction, which is even more difficult, so you slip again, so you try to “balance,” so you slip again…

There’s balance, and then there’s putting ourselves on a roller coaster. We may climb aboard that roller coaster unconsciously or compulsively, but it’s still intentionally. The intention is to make space in our lives for gluttony rather than making space in our hearts and souls for relationship with God and with God through other persons.

Did I skip any?

If you are sick to death of this cycle, there is hope. One option: a free download of my webinar, “Fast Food: Finding Food Freedom for Lent and Beyond.”

In this talk, I go into ways to identify unhealthy patterns disguised as “penance,” and I offer tools to and alternatives to use Lent less as a diet and more as an invitation into deeper relationship with the God of our restoration.

Get your download of “Fast Food” here!

That download access also includes a $40 discount on my 6-week Catholic food freedom course Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts . That discount expires at midnight on the First Sunday of Lent 2023, so:

Act fast! A webinar cohort is forming to start with the free intro webinar on Saturday, February 25, 2023 at 12noon Eastern. This might be your time!
If you missed that deadline, check out the Filled with Good free intro and automatically get on the list to receive other discounts as they come along.

**What is Filled with Good?**

Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts provides Catholic Diet Tools for the spiritual and emotional side of your weight loss program.

If you’ve been searching for a:

Catholic diet plan
Catholic spiritual weight loss program
Relief from emotional eating
Break from compulsive overeating

and you want to lean on your Catholic faith as your path to a new way of eating?

Check out the free intro to

Filled with Good:

Theology of the Body for Food Addicts

What is (and isn’t) Catholic self-care?

Three Types of Self-care for Catholics

Self-care is so badly explained, especially in Catholic circles.

Our secular culture tells us that self-care is mani-pedis, lush meals, expensive vacations.

Our Catholic faith tells us not to be greedy or gluttonous or neglect the poor.

Real self-care is less about self-indulgence and more about self-preservation. It’s the bare minimum of stuff we do and don’t do to keep ourselves functioning virtuously.

My experience tells me that authentic Catholic self-care manifests in three ways.

[Disclosure: This is a super-fast summary of a webinar I gave for the members of Catholic in Recovery + in November of 2022.]

#1: Inclusive Self-care

Inclusive self-care is the stuff we do to keep ourselves living in virtue: hygiene, nourishing ourselves with food rather than numbing, regular reception of the sacraments, exercise not to punish ourselves but to live fully in the bodies God gave us.

#2: Exclusive Self-care

Exclusive self-care is the stuff we avoid in order to keep ourselves living in virtue: overindulgence, self-destructive thoughts, people who treat us badly and show no sign of repentence.

#3 Trinitarian Self-care

Trinitarian self-care is the stuff we do to cultivate nourishing relationships in our lives. God is a Trinity. God is infinite relationship. If we are made in God’s image and likeness, we can only thrive in thriving relationships. Pope Saint John Paul II put it best when he said, “Man becomes the image of God not so much in the moment of solitude as in the moment of communion.”

Which of these types of self-care is most difficult for you?

If you’ve been searching for a Catholic diet plan, Catholic spiritual weight loss program, or just been growing increasingly desperate for relief from emotional eating and compulsive food behaviors and want to lean on your Catholic faith as your path to a new way of eating with peace and joy, check out my course Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts.

Can prayer before meals help you lose weight?

Can Catholic prayer before meals help you lose weight?

It helped me lose 100 pounds… but maybe not prayer in the way that you think.

“Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts,” right?

Well, it was a little more than that

It also was a little simpler. A little more interactive. A little more conversational between me and God.

It’s called the POUR Tool. It’s the skill I teach at the heart of my course Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts.

Here’s a demo of how this conversational prayer tool works in the moment to derail my cravings for food that isn’t part of God’s plan for my physical reality.

If you’ve been searching for a Catholic diet plan, Catholic spiritual weight loss program, or just been growing increasingly desperate for relief from emotional eating and compulsive food behaviors and want to lean on your Catholic faith as your path to a new way of eating with peace and joy, check out my course Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts.

Theology of the Body for Food Addicts

Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts Provides Catholic Diet Tools, Catholic Weight Loss Program

Searching for a:

Catholic diet plan
Catholic spiritual weight loss program
Relief from emotional eating
Break from compulsive overeating

and you want to lean on your Catholic faith as your path to a new way of eating?

Check out the free intro to my course

Filled with Good:

Theology of the Body for Food Addicts.

Is there a Catholic prayer to lose weight?

Here’s the Catholic prayer for weight loss that worked for me.

It still works.

Here’s the plain text of “The Get Hungry Prayer” we use in Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts.

Mary, gentle mother, 
you who have known nothing but total communion 
with the God of our beginning, 
our middle, 
and our end, 
we ask you to take us under your mantle. 
We pray the words you said to all of us
 through St. Luke the Evangelist: 

The hungry he has filled with good things. 

Mary, teach us how to be hungry 
as you knew how to be, 
so that we may be filled, 
as you are, with good things.
 In your precious son’s holy name, we pray.

Amen

If you’ve been searching for a Catholic diet plan, Catholic spiritual weight loss program, or just been growing increasingly desperate for relief from emotional eating and compulsive food behaviors and want to lean on your Catholic faith as your path to a new way of eating with peace and joy, check out my course Filled with Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts.

New [Recovery-related] Job, Course Release, Freebies/Discounts

Catholic In Recovery, Webinar for Catholics Healing from Disordered Eating, and Theology of the Body for Food Addicts

Here’s the video version of the update:

Bullet point summary

->New haircut!
->New job! I get to work with @catholicinrecovery to share God’s good news for food addicts!
->17Nov 7:30pm Eastern I’m giving a CIR webinar: holiday self-care plan for food addicts
FILLED WITH GOOD: THEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR FOOD ADDICTS!
->Computer in the shop=providential course launch delay
->FWG launching 5Jan2023; webinar cohort starts 12Jan 7:30pm Eastern. Sign up for updates at bio link
->FOOD ADDICTS: watch this space for pop-up free binge trigger processing tool demo
QUESTION!
->What do you need today to help you detach from food & body image obsession?

[Barely edited transcript of video above for those who don’t want to watch the whole thing.]

Folks. I’m back. It’s a Erin McCole Cupp. I’m filled with good. And so are you. And I have missed interacting with you guys.

My computer was literally in the shop, which put the release of filled with good on hold, but computer’s back and it’s working.

So here’s an update on what you’ve missed.

I joined on the content team for Catholic in Recovery. You can visit them at catholicinrecovery.com.

It is an organization that unites 12 step recovery from addiction with the sacramental understanding of God’s mercy in the Catholic Church. And I’m really, really on fire
for the work I get to do for them.

You’ll get to see blog posts from me as well as eventually a video series specifically for food addicts in 12 Step Recovery that uses the principles of Catholic spirituality.

You can also just be for people who are 12 step curious. Uou should be able to get that on their forthcoming platform called CIR+. You can find out more about that
at catholicinrecovery.com.

Also on that note November 17th, mark your calendars, with Catholic in Recovery, I’m going to be leading a live event webinar specifically for food addicts focusing
on issues of self-care through the holidays.

So that we can not just treat ourselves but treat ourselves well.

On to Filled With Food: the stuff that’s, that’s mine that I’m working on.

I have the delay in the October launch. I have reworked the launch trajectory.

We’re looking at a January 5th 2023 release date for a cohort that starts meeting on January 12th.

For our live webinars, we’re going to meet for six weeks and then do a follow up three weeks after that.

So we will be starting our year filled with good and then using those tools getting into the beginning of Lent.

So I think the timing for that is actually: God had that in mind.

In the meantime, I’m going to be making some blog posts and videos that will provide you with validation from my experience as someone who has struggled and still struggles with compulsive food behaviors.

You’ll also get to see some behind the scenes stuff of my working on the course, including body image issues, because here I am on video as somebody who has a lot of body image insecurity.

So I’m looking forward to sharing those tools and that work with you.

You’ll also keep an eye out because I’m going to be doing pop up lives on all of my socials in the coming weeks, especially leading up to the release, of Filled With Good, where you will get to see me work through my eating triggers live, using the tools that I offer in Filled With Good.

So a schedule is on the way for where you’ll find me popping up on socials each day of the week.

I’ll also be offering all sorts of freebies and discounts.

So mark your calendars.

January 5th, we’re also going to do the intro webinar that you would pay for January 12th as part of the Filled With Good Package.

I’m actually going to do that live on January 5th for free for so you can kind of see what you’re getting into.

I know I’m missing something and that’s where you come in.

If you are someone who struggles with food and body image, what is your biggest pain point today?

Where are you hurting the most?

Can you pick just one area?

I’m here to tell you that there’s hope and healing, but for me, first, I needed to heal the lie that my pain isn’t getting seen, heard and believed.

Because until I experienced having my pain received and mattering to someone, there was no diet, restriction, or spiritual weight loss plan that was going to break through the hold that food had on me.

So what’s your pain today?

What’s inside of you that’s crying out to be heard?

Because I know the Lord hears the cry of the poor.

I know that now I’ve experienced it myself.

And the amazing thing about my recovery is that through it and through sharing it with others, I experience the spirit of the Lord being upon me to bring glad tidings to the poor and to proclaim liberty to captives.

I am looking forward to sharing and experiencing this acceptance and this freedom with you

Comment below with your pain points.

Comment with what you need.

Let’s get in conversation.

I’m really looking forward to serving you.

God bless.

Quick Reminders:

Filled With Good: Theology of the Body for Food Addicts is not a Catholic diet or even a spiritual weight loss plan. Filled With Good offers tools from St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body to connect us with God’s compassionate love as we seek freedom from binge eating, compulsive overeating and other compulsive food behaviors. Find out more at the Filled With Good course page.

5 Things I Said I Would Never Do As a Parent

5 things I said I would never do as a scapegoat family trauma survivor trying to break the cycle

and how I overshot on every single one

First

I promised I would never make my kids responsible for a disproportionate amount of the housekeeping. Yes, I gave them chores, but the chores that were more triggering to me (namely, dishes and bathroom cleaning), I kept overwhelmingly to myself. I also cleaned up after messes they made way longer than I should have for their developmental ages.

As a result… I’ve continued my own scapegoat role to a certain extent in my current family, and I’ve trained some humans to be someone’s really crappy future roommates

Two

I promised I would never overshare. I’d never spousify my kids by sharing with them too much of my own childhood trauma and the difficulties that was causing me in my relationships. I’d definitely never use it as an excuse to hurt them. Now, I have apologized to them on occasion by saying, “I’m sorry. This is a way I learned to behave from my own [mother/father] here, and I should not be acting this way, AND it’s not your fault.”

However, I didn’t learn how to model developmentally appropriate emotional connection in relationships in time for them to pick up a good example from me, so I accidentally taught them instead that we don’t talk about our emotional lives. That sucks.

Three

On apologies, I promised I would never NOT apologize to my kids. If I did something wrong, I would own up to it and tell them it wasn’t their fault.

Noble plan, but again, having been a well-trained family scapegoat, I overshot. I apologized to them for things that THEY did, and I made myself the family toilet in this family, too, perpetuating the dynamic that, as long as there’s someone else to do the apologizing, most people can avoid that kind of discomfort.

Four

I promised I’d never make my kids touch anyone. I told them from a very young age, “You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to. You don’t have to let anyone touch you if you don’t want to be touched.” Hooray for bodily autonomy, right?

Again, I overshot. I didn’t model asking for healthy touch, and so now there’s a disconnect not just emotionally but physically as humans in need of healthy touch.

On that note…

Five

I promised I’d guard my children’s Theology of the Body-based dignity and safety. I’d never sexualize my children the way I had been as a child. I wouldn’t leave explicit material out for my kids to pick up. I wouldn’t make constant dirty jokes, especially not at their expense. I wouldn’t even expose them to the relational chaos so poorly modeled on soap operas. How did I overshoot this one?

I accidentally made sexuality a taboo topic, something we can’t talk about around mom, and for all my Theology of the Body fangirling, I have no idea how to undo that knot.

I went into parenting all hyped up to break the cycle.

Most days, I feel like all I did was tap on the brakes.

Can you relate?

Trauma Survivor Resource Round-up

Letting The Trauma Flow Through

Inclusion does not equal endorsement of concept, source, writer, etc.

Update: My Domestic Church has taken over the weekly 7 Quick Takes. I’ll try linking up there.

Some things just process better if we let them flow through instead of backing up. Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude or take Self-Control 101. Image: Unsplash.com

Are highly sensitive and more empathic people more prone to being gaslit/gaslighted?
Could there be a link between ADHD and compulsive overeating?
What does it really mean to turn the other cheek, and should I? (Caveat: I don’t agree with 100% of these ideas. For instance, while my anger might be justified, sharing that anger with people who are not willing to repair their side of relationships has always been a waste of my very valuable energy.)
Feeling like you don’t belong? Louisa Ann Irene Ikena has a piece at Catholic Mom telling you You are SO meant to be here!
What is the effect of stress on the adolescent brain’s triple network? And, erm, what is a triple network?
What to know about eating disorders at midlife and beyond.
Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s AV: do a little bit of nature meditation with me. Here’s a video of the header image from Great Falls National Park, just outside of Washington, DC.

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers. Now give My Domestic Church a look-see.

Open Book: Book Recs July 2022

Carolyn Astfalk has a first Wednesday of the month book review linkup, shared also at Catholic Mom!

Man’s Search for Meaning

Viktor E. Frankl

From Amazon:

A young adult edition of the best-selling classic about the Holocaust and finding meaning in suffering, with a photo insert, a glossary of terms, a chronology of Frankl’s life, and supplementary letters and speeches

Viktor E. Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning is a classic work of Holocaust literature that has riveted generations of readers. Like Anne Frank’s Diary of a Young Girl and Elie Wiesel’s Night, Frankl’s masterpiece is a timeless examination of life in the Nazi death camps. At the same time, Frankl’s universal lessons for coping with suffering and finding one’s purpose in life offer an unforgettable message for readers seeking solace and guidance. This young adult edition features the entirety of Frankl’s Holocaust memoir and an abridged version of his writing on psychology, supplemented with photographs, a map of the concentration camps, a glossary of terms, a selection of Frankl’s letters and speeches, and a timeline of his life and of important events in the Holocaust. These supplementary materials vividly bring Frankl’s story to life, serving as valuable teaching and learning tools. A foreword by renowned novelist John Boyne provides a stirring testament to the lasting power of Frankl’s moral vision.

My Thoughts:

Not sure how I ended up with the young adult adaptation from the library, but maybe that was God protecting me. Either way, this was a pretty transformative read. Logotherapy, or the value of finding meaning in one’s life as the key to mental health, is a concept I’ve wanted to explore for quite some time, and this was at last my opportunity. In addition to his description of life (and death) in concentration camps, Frankl makes strong arguments for promoting “mental hygiene” among self and others by searching for the meanings of our prayers, works, joys, and sufferings. 6/5

Time to link up YOUR #OpenBook reviews over at Carolyn’s!

Trauma Survivor Resource Round-up

Trauma Waves, Healing Shores

Inclusion does not equal endorsement of concept, source, writer, etc.

Update: My Domestic Church has taken over the weekly 7 Quick Takes. I’ll try linking up there.

Is your tide coming in or going out? Maybe it’s time to find your cycle-breaking Beatitude or take Self-Control 101. Image: Unsplash.com

Is someone telling you you’re crazy? Are you starting to believe that might be true? Read Gaslighting: Relationship Politics Explained.
Can you be addicted not to a substance but addicted to a behavior?
Virtual treatment for eating disorders shows potential here.
Curious about this: Theology of the Fat Body.
A survivor of sa by a Catholic priest comes home to the Catholic Church.
“But, Erin, I don’t have trauma!” How to tell if you’ve been emotionally abused by your parents.
Ending with your weekly reminder that All Things New: Breaking the Cycle and Raising a Joyful Family is available for purchase. Already read your copy? Leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads (please, leave a review–it takes courage, but it helps the people who need the message find it), and don’t forget to link up with this month’s An Open Book from Carolyn Astfalk & Catholic Mom.

This week’s AV: my experience with the overturn of Roe v. Wade

@erinmccolecupp
2 parts mayo, 1 part ea sugar & vinegar; add to shredded cabbage & carrots, top w dried cranberries #chefskiss #fyp #foryoupage #trending #roevwade #potluck #dobbs
♬ original sound – fiona’s gf

Thanks for reading, listening & watching, fellow image-bearers. Now give My Domestic Church a look-see.