It’s the 43rd anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Decision.
Within the past 12 hours I’ve found myself in a situation where I either need to stand up for myself or lose a significant amount of money (money we paid to support a family member in an artistic endeavor when we could’ve spent it on, you know, replacing a couple of bald tires) in order to avoid having to rub elbows with my primary abuser for four-ish hours.
One of the reasons I think abortion is still a thing is because we women keep being told, “You can’t do that. It’s too hard.”
Stand up to my abuser and tell her to leave me alone? Again? Because the first several times and some help from the police didn’t take?
I don’t understand why I have to.
In other words… I can’t do that. It’s too hard.
If you’re inclined to say, “I could never _____” [have an abortion, steal a car, go bungee jumping, eat sushi, whathaveyou], then there’s some part of your heart that is hardened against mercy towards those who could.
Seeing someone through the eyes of mercy is not the same as condoning sin, however great that sin might be.
Seeing someone through the eyes of mercy is how God sees each one of us.
I did nothing to put myself in my current conundrum other than maintain contact with someone who doesn’t really care about keeping me safe.
I feel alone, trapped, and helpless. Again.
Alone, trapped, and helpless is how women facing unplanned pregnancies feel.
It’s an old Method Acting trick, but I think it’s one we could all use as we walk the boards of real life:
- See another character experiencing something you’ve never experienced, never understood.
- Identify the underlying feelings that character is experiencing.
- Identify a time in your own life when you experienced those same emotions.
And walk forth with mercy.
I wish someone would stand up for me, say they’ll fight my demons for me.
I’m sure women considering abortion wish someone would stand up for them.
Why don’t people see that that’s what happens at the March for Life? Any time someone posts a pro-life meme on social media? Any time someone offers abortion workers a way out? Women a way out? Any time someone stands outside a clinic and prays for her to be braver than she ever thought she could? Any time someone says, “Hey, you know all those chemicals and all that debris you’re putting into your body to make it malfunction? Maybe there’s a less self-destructive way to handle that.”
never very rarely put stuff like this on my blog. Or anywhere. You know why? Because I’ve been taught through experience that nobody listens to me. That nobody cares if I’ve been hurt, because that’ll make the people who hurt me feel uncomfortable. You know what I grew up with?
“Ouch! That hurts!”
“No, it doesn’t.”
Satan has put a lot of energy and destroyed a lot of lives to convince me that I’m not credible enough to stand up for anyone–especially myself.
Then again… Jesus didn’t stand up for himself.
He asks others to stand up for Him by standing up for the least of these.
He asks us to stand up for each other.
Please pray that I can receive the courage to stand up for those who need me.
Please pray that those who need it would receive the courage to stand up for me.
And I will pray for you to have the courage to stand up where you are called and for you to walk in the mercy you need to stand up with compassion as well.
Love your thoughts on mercy. I think it’s really easy to get so myopically focused on the injustice to the unborn that we forget these decisions aren’t made in a vacuum. I also have really moved away from political activism on abortion because I don’t think it does any good when the culture as a whole has such a dysfunctional relationship with sex. That’s where we have to focus our efforts, IMNSHO.
Really a great post. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers today, too. May our Blessed Mother protect you and give you strength.
Prayers for your situation. It’s a tough one. And you’re right–“I could never” is a denial of mercy. You are SERIOUSLY schooling me this week in that regard.
What great thoughts on mercy. Your method acting tip is huge. So often we want to help in our way instead of thinking about what someone truly needs.
Thanks for your bold and vulnerable post. Sending prayers your way today.
Erin, after reading your post I felt so proud of your wisdom and compassion and, at the same time, I hurt for you and wanted to hug you until the hurt stops. You are a strong and wise woman who hasn’t let life harden her heart. I see your path to holiness taking you to sainthood and bringing many along with you. Keep writing. Keep living the life you were meant to live! You are touching so many lives.